Thank you for being present and open to…the possibilities.
My birth name 2,000-some years ago was Yeshua. Jesus was the Greek translation, and pagan in origin, from the name of the Greek god, Zeus.
And most, I’m certain, are expecting a fraud. I’d be weary if I were you. There is only one barometer of truth and that is in the human heart. Open your heart to me, and I will come to you there.
But first things first: Why I am here at all? I am here to speak to your hearts. It is why you are reading this and not somewhere else. Of all the choices you could have made tihis day, that you chose to be reading this is because you are supposed to be reading this. I hope to extend to you is the possibility that there are no accidents in this Universe.
So, is what I shall offer you here the truth? Yes. Is it your truth? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Whatever helps you through the murky waters towards Love, is your truth. And that’s as it should be. Like the physical universe, truth evolves on a spiral, and just when you think you’re back where you started, you realize you’ve actually progressed to a higher state of awareness. And my friends, the physical — and non-physical — universe is large enough to embrace a multitude of truths. The choices are yours.
But why not speak to you form a temple or church or mountaintop? Why not the Vatican? The Holy Mount? There aren’t many places that would have me, not as I am, not unlike you. They like the idea of me, just not the reality — And I say that without anger. Each has served its purpose in the Grand Scheme Of Things. And reading some of the words I am supposed to have said and practices I am supposed to have supported, I wouldn’t want to spend much time with me either.
By now most of you know that the Source Of All That Is is not an old, Caucasian male sitting on a throne. Nor, in truth, is the Source female. The Source is both, is neither.
During this journey, I will try to shed some light on my past life, so that in turn, we might shed some light on your present lives.
I’ll hope to remind us of who we truly are, where we came from, and where we are going.
I also hope to speak of more now than I was able to then. Then, I had to use parables suitable for the time. You now have an additional 2,000 years of information and experience which I can draw upon.
And finally, I may, perhaps, anger some of you reading this. That will be a regret on my part. There’s already enough divisiveness over my life and my death.
And now let’s begin our journey together.
The desert oasis of Jerusalem. A very excited place. A very exciting time. Caravans from all corners of the world; the beautiful languages and pungent spices and exotic trade. The relative freedom of thought, the deep mental and spiritual exchanges. Into such a time, and in such a place, a new idea could be planted and its seeds carried to all the lands and all the peoples of the earth.
Rome and Egypt were other possibilities, as they offered all of these elements as well, but Jerusalem offered one thing more, as it has ever since: conflict. And in times of conflict people are shaken from their lethargies and forced to make choices. I needed to speak to the hearts of those ready to change, who were witness to the corruption of the old powers all around them. For the most part Rome left Judea alone. Free trade and a certain amount of peace and civility was in their interest.
Which brings us to the first of a few digressions I hope you’ll patiently allow me to take. You see, in order to give you the broadest picture of a possible reality, we should become comfortable with what has been called “spherical thinking,” as opposed to linear thinking.
Imagine yourself, not standing on a line with the past behind you and the future ahead, but in the center of a sphere with all that has ever existed and ever will exist in the physical universe all around you. Below you is the year 1639. Above 1974. To the left, 3 B.C., to the right, 2034. Science fiction? Actually, no. Sisters and brothers, I tell you now that all that has ever been and all that ever will be exists right now. The Mind of the Creator is not surprised. Nor does It forget.
Another interesting piece of information about time and multi-dimensionality in the physical and energetic universe: You can change the past.
As the past and future exist at the same time and are directly effected by consciousness, and as we are all intimately connected by the energetic web of life, then the past can be changed by actions today.
Let me offer a metaphoric example: According to the Bible, perhaps I am whipped twenty times in Pilot’s palace 2,000-some years ago.
Perhaps you, today, are able to go deeply into your heart and forgive yourself, or someone who has wronged you greatly. That creates — literally — a wave of Love that resonates forward — and backward — through time, effecting everything it touches.
It even reaches me, in Pilot’s temple, and everyone there is effected — changed — by your act of Love and I am beaten nineteen times.
With the added Love sent from you, in the future, back to me, I am that much stronger and can send more Love forward in time to you. That Love in turn, reaches you and helps you to be yet more loving and forgiving and that, in turn, sends more Love back to me, where I am whipped eighteen times.
And on and on it goes, back and forth, beyond space and time, until one day you wake up, as if from a vivid dream, and are made aware of the story of an old prophet and teacher named Yeshua, who died as an old man in his sleep surrounded by wife and family. And this will be the truth of it. For my mission will have succeeded, through you, in the future, and my death on the cross will not have been necessary. In the past.
You might ask, why not wait until the coming of the printing press, or even, for that matter, television. Why arrive in such a dark and desperate time? Because the seeds I meant to plant would need time. Any earlier and the Source’s thoughts might never have left the then-insular shores of Greece or China. Any later and there would have been no structure in place to effectively preserve ideas which remained of those first seeds. I needed a church that would survive rampaging hoards and black plagues. The seed of an oak may take twenty years to mature. The seeds of the soul may take millennia. But it was never my intent for a single church to claim Divine proprietorship over Truth. I merely desired guardianship of certain truths to then be shared with everyone. And to be explored in each individual human heart.
And make no mistake, my words have been distorted. But that was to be expected. The authors of the Bible wrote some sixty years after my death. They’d never even met me in the flesh. But core concepts survived: ‘Love God.’ ‘Love one another as yourself.’ ‘All that I have done, you will do, and greater things than these.’ ‘If God will care for the lily’s of the field, why would God not also care for you, who is made in God’s image?’
My teaching was, and is, simple. It has been made complex.
How can one choose where and when to incarnate? Which, of course, begs the larger question: Have I, in fact, been talking all this time about reincarnation?
Reincarnation was very much a belief at the time of my birth. It was removed from the Bible by Constantine.
Reincarnation is not such a startling concept. It exists all around you in nature. Birth, death and rebirth. Of course, if one adheres to a strictly mechanistic view of the Universe, then, yes, there is very little I will be able to offer to convince you. But if we are even open in the slightest to the possibility that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, then reincarnation might seem possible. As has been said before: Perhaps it is no more miraculous to be born once than many times. Perhaps the physical universe is not so limited that it can transcend space and time and bring spirit into matter — but only once? And if we can do so as one sex, then why not as the other? In fact, dear ones, we have all been both men and women more times than you both probably care to remember.
Go to your bookstores and read any number of the personal accounts of children being able to speak Aramaic or write ancient Sanskrit at age three. It also helps explain a child such as Mozart.
And yes, there is an energy experience known as karma and yes, at fundamental levels we shall, eventually, reap what we have sown. Some believe that if one had created five lifetimes of so-called ‘negative’ karma, then five ‘positive’ lifetimes are required to balance the ‘books,’ as it were. This makes the Source little more than an accountant, adding up numbers. The entire purpose of karma is to bring one to a place of self-awareness. Once that awareness has taken place, the rule of karma is no longer needed. So yes, a lifetime of challenging energy can be balanced in a single instant.
As to the actual events of my birth and the timing, the preparation we each participate in, prior to our arrival. We consult the stars and planets as they move through their cycles like giant clockworks. Planets and stars and galaxies do influence the subtle energies of our lives. They are the channels, amplifiers, and transducers for the Divine Flow of Light and Love, stepping it down in power as your transformers do, so that the human form can safely contain them.
I chose the Piscean Age to incarnate. The Age of Water. The age when world power reigned at the helm of a ship. I incarnated on the Divine energy stream of Love. The Star of Bethlehem was not a star, but the alignment of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars in the Constellation of Pisces. To the unaided eye of the time, yes, it appeared to be a magnificent star shining in the east. But it did not hover miraculously over my birthplace. The Constellation of Pisces was known to ancient astrologers as the constellation governing Judea. They knew well in advance that the alignment meant that a Master Teacher was to be born and that he would be born in Judea.
The “Three Wise Men of the East” were Chaldean Magi, or astrologers from Babylonia. They didn’t follow a star, they knew exactly where I was to be born. And they weren’t present at my birth, as it took them many months to reach me.
To the question of my birth. It is believed I was born on December 25th. It is well known that the early church, desiring to stamp out the goddess, Earth-based rituals, simply usurped those “pagan” ritual dates of celebration with those you know today. Prior, December 25th was celebrated as the Winter Equinox. Easter, the spring equinox.
Some believe I was born on August 21. Others, I’m sure, have other dates which serve their own purposes. I will neither confirm nor deny these dates. I am beyond the need to convince anyone of the truth or fallacy of my life on earth.
My life, my journey, my teaching has always been one of faith. That has not changed. The less historic foundation you have with which to accept me, the more you must rely on your heart. And that is as it should be.
And so I came into the world then, Yeshua ben Joseph. Yeshua, son of Joseph.
The Virgin Birth.
The earlier goddess, Earth-based practices celebrated the sexual act as fundamental to life. Obviously so. From two. Come one. Union. There was a certain uninhibited quality to those early fertility practices. As these practices were halted by the early churches and supplanted by other more…stoic rituals, there grew the belief that sex was ungodly. Original Sin. Adam and Eve. The concept of the Virgin Birth is present in only two of the Gospels. Mark, John, Paul and Peter make no mention of it in their writings. That does seem a bit odd for such an extraordinary event.
Wisdom can never be gained easily. All High Truths come disguised in three cloaks. So, the Virgin Birth must be looked at from three levels. At the level of, shall we say, beginner spiritual awareness, people needed to believe that, because I was the “Son of God,” that my birth had to be “not of woman.” At, shall we say, the slightly-higher-than-beginner level of spiritual belief, the priesthood had already decided that women were the tempters of Adam, the serpents in the Garden. And the male priesthood was not going to share their power.
No, my birth from a woman by natural causes was also beyond their level of comprehension. But at the level of the mystic, it was well understood that my very mission was to incarnate and remind each one of you of your inherent Divinity. That you were — are — each one of you — God-in-woman; God-in-man. The very idea of a virgin birth puts each of you at a distance from the Source, and from my teaching.
And let me also offer that all women of that time who were of a certain age, or unmarried, were called virgins, or maidens. It did not necessarily have anything to do with their sexual natures.
I came through the veil as do you all, via the sexual union of a man and a woman. Sexual union is not now nor has it ever been in the Eyes of All That Is in any way unholy. Nothing born of the Creator can be unholy or an affront to God, because the Source is Everything. Nothing is outside of the Divine Manifestor.
Mary and Joseph.
How does one describe one’s parents? You do not remember so much physical characteristics as emotional connections. Joseph was often quiet, even dignified, but prone to a generous, one could even say, mischievous, smile. Mary was strong-willed, powerful, even stern, but always out of motherly protection. But then she would sing, or laugh, and the sun shone brighter in the sky and clouds seemed to dance. She conformed to her place in society, but she did not surrender to it. She helped form my political views. She made sure I treated all women with respect.
Both Joseph and Mary were well educated. Mary was also a skilled weaver, Joseph, of course, a wonderful carpenter and a powerful stoneworker. Both were also guided in matters of the spirit by the Essenes, a stoic, mystic society which lived not far from our home, and which taught the Higher Truths.
As they described their first meeting to me, it was just another carpentry job to Joseph, one of several which he had to travel back and forth to, of no lesser or greater significance. In repairing the roof and adding a stall to a small manger for Mary’s father, he often saw the young daughter out feeding the animals. Occasionally she would bring him water from the well, or food, but only small smiles were exchanged. But then one early morning, Joseph cut his hand quite deeply on a sharp blade, and although he hadn’t called out, Mary was suddenly at his side, cleaning and bandaging the wound. As she worked, Joseph could smell her freshly washed hair, and became aware of her gentle touch. Their eyes met, as if for the first time. And neither turned away.
Meeting the beloved and the fluttering of the heart is one of the great blessings in all creation, and it is the same throughout the entire Universe of universes. And that, dear ones, I find great comfort in.
Often, at sunset, Joseph and Mary would walk among the foothills, holding hands, talking gently to each other.
What a gift to be raised among a truly loving, affectionate husband and wife. Around their fire I learned more about love than from any of the wise, learned men and women I would meet during my travels.
I would sit on the hillside above the house on summer nights, a hot breeze blowing past me, the stars dazzling in the night sky, the flicker of home fires and candlelight in the valley beyond, and our dear, sweet home below me, built soundly, held tight with the peaceful laughter and private whispers of my earthly mother and father.
As you know, in March of the year I was born, Caesar Augustus ordered that a census be taken of all inhabitants of Judea for tax purposes. And so Mary and Joseph made the journey to Bethelehem just as you’ve seen pictured countless times, Joseph leading the animal, Mary, pregnant with me, riding atop. And yes, the journey was hard and hot and dusty and they found themselves among hundreds of others making the same journey. And yes, all the lodgings in Bethlehem were full, and yes, they did find shelter in a manger of a distant cousin, but mangers were not exactly the same as stables. Livestock were valued possessions and mangers were quite clean, and often used by travellers for sleeping. I was born in the “upper room” of one such manger, which was very much like an inn, filled with many pilgrims weary from the road. A wonderful truth that my birth symbolized was that great possibilities can be born of the humblest situations.
I came into the world naturally, as you have all done.
King Herod of the time was very much a typical ruler who did not want his power threatened. He was aware of the astrological predictions of my birth, a birth which the Jews heralded as the coming of a messiah to free them from their bondage. When he heard of the arrival of the three Magi, he knew the event had occurred. As I mentioned earlier, it took the Magi many months to reach me after first seeing the planetary alignment. But the Magi had been warned by an angelic presence of Herod’s future plans to see the possible messiah destroyed, and so, with the gift of gold, they directed my mother and father to flee with me to Egypt. Having failed to find me during that year, Herod simply made the calculation that to get rid of me, he had only to order the murder of every male child two years and under who had been born in Bethlehem. Herod’s palace, like any modern political counterpart, was filled with people of different backgrounds and beliefs, many of whom did not share his agenda, and so word of his plan spread quickly and many male children were secreted away, as I had been. But some died. Political expediency at its coldest. And even one child was one too many.
“But the Magi had been warned by an angelic presence…” You see how I slipped that in so matter-of-factly? Yes, my friends, their are angels in the universe. Do they have wings and wear white gowns? If you’d like them to. Are they male and female. No. The angelic realm is yet another dimension of creation. They are the…archetypes of intelligent energetic expression. They are Divine consciousness painted in the widest brush strokes. There are angels of Wisdom, of Peace, of Mercy, of Knowledge, of Faith, and on and on and on.
Above them is the Archangelic Realm, Archangels being the first individuated extension of Creator Consciousness. They are not personal beings, although they are filled with immense love and compassion for all of creation. They exist only to serve the Source, and in turn, you. And yes, each of you have an angelic guardian presence which attached itself to you when you first separated from the Source. And even fairies and elves exist. Did I not say, “In my Father’s House are many mansions”?
There is an ancient saying of great wisdom: “As above, so below. As within, so without.” Think on it. You’ll receive great insight into the nature of the physical universe.
Having been warned of Herod’s plans, Mary and Joseph secreted me in Egypt, few knowing our true identities. Hearing of Herod’s death two years later, we boarded a boat for Joppa then traveled overland to Nazareth.
I was about three years old when, four days later, we arrived back at our home, which had been occupied by another of Joseph’s relatives. Soon Joseph had secured work as a carpenter and we all settled into a very normal, and quite happy, life.
Nazareth was an out-of-the-way place, a backwater, if you will. Over time it had developed a reputation — undeserved — of being a town filled with “riff-raff” and “lowlifes”. But I remember it as anything but. Such is the gift of early childhood: a tiny stone in the palm is a mighty weapon to bring down a giant — An old reclusive neighbor the dethroned king of Persia!
Irrigation channels were roaring rivers and strewn boulders impervious fortresses. And the colors and smells! Opened pomegranates in the midday sun, scarlet and juicy. Burnt-brown dates sticky-sweet and nutty. Jasmine and cumin and golden honey. Rich, pungent black olives and musty, ruby-red wine. And the people — their faces! Strangers from all corners of the world passed through with their magnificent animals and dazzling textiles and aromatic spices. Rome, Greece. Phoenicia. Syria. The languages and thick accents. The hearty laughter and bellicose bargaining. And the stories!
The stories! It certainly didn’t matter if they were true, not to a wide-eyed child of five. Tales of distant battles and ferocious monsters and shipwrecked riches.
I was what you would have called…precocious. I loved to ask questions. I thirsted for knowledge as the palm roots deep in the hot desert thirsted. And learned men — and women — from all races and creeds saw in me this insatiable curiosity and often stayed beyond their scheduled leaving to nourish my intellectual hunger.
Yes, I had playmates just as you all have had. And we played games of hide-and-seek and shrieked loudly and skinned our knees and generally irritated adults just as today. Perhaps I was a bit more serious and studious, but I didn’t want for youthful companionship.
The following few years passed uneventfully, my skills as a carpenter growing under Joseph’s firm guidance. As my younger brother James became old enough to help our mother, I was able to travel with Joseph and experience more of the world outside our small community.
When I had finished my chores, I would head out early where I would meet the fishermen and we would go out in their splendid boats, out over the calm waters, sunlight flashing on the gentle waves, fish breaking the surface, snapping at insects. We’d throw the nets out and slowly pull them back in, the nets boiling with captured fish. My guardians would grin, often toothless and white-whiskered, skin burned to parchment under the broiling sun. They would laugh, and slap me on the shoulder and they would sing songs that only fishermen sang. And I was in bliss.
I also learned to play music on a neighbor’s harp. And was introduced to the joys of dancing at the local festivals.
Where on earth did you arrive at the conclusion that I was such a dour, solemn person? “The man of sorrows.”
I tell you now, brothers and sisters, that I loved to dance! I loved to sing! I loved to fish and swim and play with my friends! I loved to climb the nearby mountains and splash in the rushing streams!
To play, to be innocent and childlike is to exhabit the true Qualities of the Creator, to be in love in the moment and then beyond the moment is to be like God. And in that innocence and play and joy a bit of the harsh illusion of this material world is etched away.
And then it came! My thirteenth birthday! I cannot, I’m afraid, adequately convey to you what this day meant to any young male of the Hebrew faith, especially in my day. Everything changed on that day.
And — I would be able to attend the Feast of the Passover in Jerusalem. I would be able to sit with the men in the temples and participate in the learned discussions of the sacred texts.
And so we began the four day journey, joining a seeming multitude of fellow pilgrims on their way to the Feast. I can only guess that joining a parade to the circus for the first time can suggest the colors and smells and sounds and laughter and song and expectation of the journey.
However, this was a pilgrimage to the very heart of the sacred and as we got closer the spiritual significance of the coming events weighed firmly upon my heart. My young, innocent mind reeled with what I imagined lay at the journey’s end: golden temples atop green hills radiant in a brilliant sunlight against a deep blue sky.
What I saw broke my heart. The fearful crush of people, the hawking of wares, the air suffocatingly heavy with perfumes and incense. And the blood. The slaughter of the innocents. Each family made the blood sacrifice of a lamb to the god Jehovah. Of course, each family had to purchase these lambs from the priests. The priests themselves looked more like butchers than holy men, their robes soaked red with blood. The temple floors, the stone steps, the corridors, the walkways ran red with blood. The pitiful cries of the animals. The heat. The flies. The rotting stench.
God could not require such acts of barbarism, requires no penance, requires no acts of sacrifice.
Shocked and repelled by these scenes of brutality, I left my parent’s side in the convulsing crowd and went in search of the true meaning of the Passover Feast. Guided by my heart, I soon found myself within the inner chambers of the temple, the small, little known meeting places of the Kaballahists. My sad heart was revived to be in the presence of these learned men.
Who were the Kaballahists? They were mystics, rabbis who taught from the scrolls of the Torah. But the Kaballah was — is — more than simply a code of laws of conduct. It is a powerful tool for accessing inner consciousness. It is the first computer program, if you will, for within its words and symbols are hidden multiple layers of reality, multiple networks of information.
Words have power, my friends. And I mean that literally. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” What does that mean? Words and symbols are the means by which one pulls from the Universal Mind the power to manifest desires. It is why prayer is so powerful. Because heartfelt prayer draws toward oneself the electrons and sub-atomic particles of matter. Words and symbols and numbers coalesce thought and intent into form, into reality. Thoughts put out vibrations just as words do. And vibrations draw like vibrations to them. And matter is born. But emotion is the key.
Speak a prayer or thought without conviction and it travels barely beyond the lips, hardly attracts a firefly. But speak an intent with force, with soul, with deep love and you move entire solar systems closer towards you. Speak with anger and you draw towards you the energy of anger. Speak with love and you draw the energy of love to you. And love binds the structure of the Universe together. It is the glue of nature. Fear and anger and hate pull matter farther apart. War and crime are the physical manifestations of matter coming apart at the seams.
You think your hands create your reality. I tell you now it is your thoughts and your words that do so, your hands simply follow.
I had found myself in my element in the inner temples. The rabbis argued the Mind of God with such vigor and pleasure that I found myself grinning from ear to ear. And soon I found myself joining in on the dialogues, and they accepted me with more than a hint of skepticism. Who was this child who seemed to know so much and who could articulate and argue so compellingly?
As I said, I was precocious.
I loved those days.
And where were my parents while I was so engaged? Searching for me as any loving, anguished parents would. I must tell you now that this is one of those moments which I could have handled better. I certainly did not intend to cause my parents any heartache, but in a way that only I understood, I had already left the care of my parents to begin my adult life. Yet in my youthful enthusiasm, I forgot to mention that information to them. They finally found me addressing the rabbis and those gathered. Their shock at such a sight was tempered by their parental anger. And when they confronted me as to where I’d been, I offered the true answer, but perhaps not the appropriate one: “Did you think I would not be in my Father’s House being about my Father’s business?”
Yet in the calm, self-assurance of that statement, both Mary and Joseph knew that my time with them would soon be coming to an end. It is a sad moment in the life of any parent.
Life was good. We were a happy, healthy family, supporting each other lovingly. But as everyone reading this knows, for each swing of the pendulum, there is a return, and that in a world of duality and polarity — Into each life the joy will be tempered with heartache. It is the very nature of the human experience and I was not immune from it.
We received the news that there had been an accident in Sepphoris and that Joseph had been severely injured. And death came for him gently. His body was brought to Nazareth where he was buried.
…Joseph was a wonderful carpenter and stone mason. Most of his considerable skill was used on large-scale building projects. As a result he was a bit crippled from numerous accidents, and his hands were as scarred and rough and massive as a Judean mountain. All the more unexpected then was his gift to me of a delicate harp which he had built from fine willow. It was small and surprisingly light and balanced perfectly against my shoulder. He’d had it strung in Jerusalem. And I soon played it quite naturally, its pleasing tones warming our home. Joseph sat in his favorite chair (all father’s are the same) and smiled as I played. Mary would gently hum with the song…
Joseph was a blessing upon the earth. He was a blessing in my life. He was a strong father and a loving husband. An honest businessman and a skilled artisan. He kept his faith with God and his family and his community. I loved him dearly. I missed him greatly.
And now we come to yet another point of controversy in my life. At this juncture in the New Testament I simply…vanish! One moment I’m a boy of thirteen, the next — a man of thirty!
Why is it, do you think, that the authors of the Bible left out such a large part of my life and the fact that I had brothers and sisters? — Yes, I had brothers and sisters. And just like your families, not all members of my family trusted my path nor fully supported my beliefs. Several took their leave of me to pursue their own lives. And that is also as it should be. My specific path was not theirs. They had their own lives to honor and fulfill. Part of each soul’s journey in the flesh is to ever-grow from one family unit into an ever-larger one, until the entire world becomes your home.
Returning to my mysterious absence from the Bible: Perhaps, after the event of my turning thirteen and attaining “manhood” in the Jewish tradition, they felt nothing much of importance happened? Perhaps they felt that the “Son of God” would seem decidedly less so being surrounded by siblings and living an average life? Perhaps they didn’t think that some of my activities during those years reflected well on their idea of a Messiah. Perhaps they simply forgot? The books of the Bible weren’t even written until sixty-some years after my death. Even apostles can have faulty memories.
What did I do during those missing years? I traveled to Egypt and Persia, India and China and Europe. I met my brothers and sisters, I listened to their stories and saw into their lives. I came to deeper understand the attraction of the material and the yearning for return to God. I learned how to better communicate my message to different peoples of different backgrounds. I honored all I met as glorious children on the One God.
Why is there no mention of these travels of mine to those distant lands. No mention of those I learned from, and who in turn learned from me? Perhaps because, again, the earlier writers thought that any description of my humanity lessened my divinity. But we all learn from one another, my friends — My teachers. By being present with me now, you teach me about yourselves — Your desires — Your expectations, your fears. Your lives. No one being in all the universe of universes knows everything. There are great ones behind me on their paths, there are great ones ahead of me. But truly, all paths are simultaneous, none greater than another. Teach one another. Learn from one another.
And soon it was time to return home.
“Did Jesus have a girlfriend?” (I say this with a smile.)
I would be less than truthful if I said that then, as a young man, I was unaware that some of the young women of Nazareth seemed inclined toward me.
My beloveds, marriage is a wonderful way to bring the love of God into two hearts. It can be a sacred commitment which assists both on their journeys. Marriage should never be a tie that binds, but a joy that frees. It should not serve to subjugate one heart to another, but to support both hearts in their growth. Marriage, like anything else in life, is only made sacred by the intent brought to it. The Source is not interested in structures or formulas or conventions or the status quo. The Creator is only interested in the expression of love, however it finds flower.
Am I talking about gay and lesbian marriage as well? Yes. There is nothing sinful or shameful when two people come together in love. Besides, my brothers and sisters, you are all both male and female to one degree or another. You are all moving towards a more sexually balanced, androgenous world. Do not discourage love, in whatever form. It is your only hope. And let me add: Love between two or more can only exist when there is mutual, informed, and responsible consent. Otherwise it is the subjugation of another’s free will and unacceptable under any circumstances.
I stand only for unconditional love free of all judgment and criticism. I do not support fear-based politics and policies which diminish love and compassion and which restrict the free will choices each individual human heart must make.
During this time there was a growing anger over the payment of taxes to Rome, and the occupation, and a nationalist group who called themselves Zealots, was born, a group more political than religious, and who were not going to wait for the coming of a Messiah to free them. All of Nazareth was divided over which path to choose in dealing with Rome. As my brothers James and Simon had joined the Zealots, these divisions found their way into our home.
The Messiah was considered to be a military and a political leader sent by God to free the Jews and create a Jewish homeland. Though I was born a Jew and celebrated that blood within me, freeing the Jews — or anyone — from physical occupation was not my mission. My mission was to free the human spirit from its self-imposed occupation of fear and illusion. To awaken the human spirit to its Godliness.
Much to certain member’s of my family’s dismay, and many in Nazareth, who looked to me as a possible leader, I declined to become involved. This decision opened deep wounds in my family, and in my community, some of which never healed.
I did, gradually, spread the household responsibilities among my brothers and sisters so that I could continue with my studies.
I began to openly teach that the children of the Father did not need the intermediary of a priesthood. They had only to go quietly within and ask and all would be received. I taught that no church, nor temple, nor sacred mountain cave was necessary for communion with God. And everywhere I traveled I taught of the One God, the Unified Source, the Great Initiator. And I taught of the equal worth of all men and women. And I offered only one request of God for His children: Love God with all your heart and all your mind and all your soul — for you are a part of God — And love each other as yourself, for you are truly one in the same.
And it is in this teaching that I sowed the seeds of my eventual death.
Before I began what has been called my ministry, I journeyed into the wilds of Mount Hermon to undertake a period of meditation and reflection on how to continue. From all my travels and education I knew of people’s tendency to give over their personal powers to a charismatic leader, to worship the person and ignore the message. I would have to do everything I could to not let this happen. It is one of the reasons I didn’t write anything on paper, but only in the sand, and never maintained a central place of worship. I didn’t want who I was to become the message. But, as I said earlier, I also understood the reality of the times, and human nature, and knew that some kind of early structure would be needed to protect the core ideas. But I also didn’t want people to only read and study my words, and not think for themselves. I wanted only to offer possibilities and guidelines, not rules and laws.
I knew I would need help, people I could trust. And as a result I knew I would have to create some kind of structure, without creating a church, though that would, inevitably, come later. I would find men who would serve as teachers when I was gone. I would find women as well, and make of them a living church.
I did create a company of women who traveled with us wherever we taught, and who were afforded the same rights as every man.
From this women’s company I choose twelve to not only administer to the sick and to assist with the daily functions of the mission, but also to now teach in my name. Of these women, Mary Magdalene was their chosen leader.
I made no distinction about who was in what position, as history does; we were all equal brothers and sisters.
These women were with me to my last days and hours, when all others had gone.
On Mount Hermon I also realized that, though I had now mastered the manipulation of natural laws, latent powers you all possess, I could not use them, for fear of, again, having people worship me as a miracle-worker, and not acknowledge me as one of them.
Finally, during my meditations, I communed with the Source Of All That Is, asking, as perhaps you have at one time or another, where my human ego-driven will leaves off, and the Divine Will begins? How do I know I am making the right decisions which effect the Highest Good?
Friends, the Grand Architect never asked for us to bow down before Its Presence in fear or supplication, but only to allow Its Guidance to assist us on our journey. Spiritual commitment is not a form of a more subtle imprisonment asking for your blind devotion. Perhaps you are lost in the middle of a forest, not knowing which way to turn to get out. Soaring high above you is an eagle, which can see in all directions and knows the easiest, fastest exit. You can wander about the forest as long as you want, or you can ask the eagle for direction. None of which takes away your free will to choose your own path. This is the relationship God asks: Use me. Let me help.
But here I must also offer a bit of a caveat. Our Higher Self, from its timeless, highest vantage point, always knows what is best for us. But often what is best is not what the ego expects. I promise you this day again, that every prayer you utter, every request you make is heard and granted — but only as it assists your Highest Good. A loving parent does not give a teenager the car to drive no matter how much the teenager pleads for one. The parent first teaches how to drive and the responsibilities of the driver.
So I too would have to trust, in faith, that God’s Will would be made known to me and would guide me, if I only ask in humility and listened to my heart in silent contemplation. For my beloveds, All That Is does not speak to us through the mind, but only through the heart. And I promise you, dear scientists, you masters of the mind, all your great discoveries were indeed grown from the mind, but they were born in your heart.
After my time in the mountains, I went to Capernaum where I secured work as a carpenter. While there I heard that my childhood friend, John, was fulfilling his mission by teaching and baptizing in the Jordan River.
The rite of baptism was taken from an Essene practice of washing away the past and receiving the new waters of spiritual rebirth. John was a passionate, fiery speaker who drew enthusiastic crowds.
He taught that it was time to repent one’s sins and prepare for the coming of the son of the one true God.
A word here about the word “sin.” The word means “to miss the mark.” Nothing more. It has nothing whatsoever to do with hellfire and damnation. It simply suggests that, like the archer, we often aim for the center but miss the mark. It simply means to acknowledge the fact and try again.
And thankfully, for all of us, there is no limit to how many times we may try again. And ask any archer how best to hit the center and they will answer: “Aim slightly higher.”
Truth be told, there is no such thing as sin as you have believed it. You are each of you beloved children of the One True God who is without knowledge of sin, and so neither are you. No matter what you believe you may have done on this journey, you are and always have been beloved of the Creator, and can not sin. Which is not to say that the false self believes this. For in this material illusion, the mind is truly divided and from this division all human pain and suffering come forth.
We will speak much more about this later.
That Sunday in January, with my brothers, James and Jude, at my side, I knew it was time. We journeyed to the Jordan. The next day we joined the large crowd at the river’s banks and listened to John’s impassioned demands that the rich begin to feed the poor, that all men treat one another as brothers. He then saw me in the crowd and stopped. My brothers and I left the crowd and descended into the cool waters and I presented myself for baptism. John froze with confusion, “Yeshua, my brother, my master, it is you who are to baptize me.” “John, all people are welcome in the kingdom of God; none are better than another; I too submit my will to the Father’s.”
Does one need to be baptized to find God? No. It was merely an appropriate symbol for the times, a symbol of cleansing. Is it still appropriate? Yes, if it helps you connect with your Divine Nature. One doesn’t have to believe in baptism or even in me. In fact, don’t believe in me. Believe in yourselves. Yes, I am a child of God. So are each one of you. And let me be clear about this, that includes Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Pagan, Jew, tribal, the hatemonger and the saintly, the agnostic and the atheist.
John’s last words to the crowd remained with me: ”Today I baptize with water. There is one among you who will baptize with fire.” He meant that one day another cleansing would take place. In the Picean age, water was the appropriate symbol. When he spoke of fire, he meant spiritual fire, the symbol of the Aquarian Age. That age is now. That fire is within each of you.
Will there be a Second Coming? Yes. Is it now? Yes. Will one person arrive, larger than life and show you the way? Yes. Who will that person be? Each one of you. There will come an awakening within each of your hearts — those who are open. In some of you it has already begun. Call it the Christ, which only means the Spirit of God within Man and Woman. Call it Buddha Nature. Call it Krishna Consciousness or Great Spirit. Call it Light. Call it Love.
The prophesies in this case are still correct.
As you are coming to understand and are hearing more and more, you, my brothers and sisters, are the ones you’ve been waiting for.
I knew I would not see John again.
After my baptism, I returned to the mountains for another forty days to contemplate my next course of action. I needed time to spread my message, and the people were anxiously waiting for a leader to free them. And I’d already seen how my decision not to join the Zealots had caused divisions in my own family and community.
I was also tested during those forty days, as you are all tested in your own ways. But I was not tempted by “Satan” in the shape of lions or snakes or consuming fires.
I was tempted by my own human ego which revealed to me a possible future, a future devastated by war and disease, the planet blackened in nuclear fire. And I heard the words burning in my ears: “You’re mission failed. No one listened. No one cared. It was all for nothing. Your death was meaningless.” And then I was shown how I could have a direct impact on the world by receiving the title of Messiah. The temptation was great. I struggled with my mind, my heart and my human ego. What path to take? Whose will was I listening to, the Creator’s or mine?
No. I would continue to trust in The Way shown me every day. I would continue to trust in that still, small voice in my heart. I would allow people their free will to experience the results of their choices. And if their choices resulted in Earth as a cinder smoldering in space, then that choice was honored. If it was to make of the Earth a garden of peace and abundance, then that too would be honored. “Get thee behind me,” I said to the demons of my ego. “I am about the Father’s business.”
And my first order of business would be to welcome the first of those who would follow me, even if they did not know at the time that we were destined to meet.
May I also offer that there were only eleven followers with me at the time. Eleven is a number of mastery. I became the twelfth member, which in turn created the scared number three, which in turn created the energy of the Holy Trinity.
If I may, allow me to try and paint of picture for you of these good men with but the fewest of words:
Andrew, a carpenter of the mind, if you will, he knew that any organization is only as strong and just as those within it. Like firm timbers, he knew where best to place each of my spiritual brothers.
Simon, who I named Peter, so as to encourage a sense of new beginnings and possibilities in a man who was prone to snap when he should have bent.
Jovial Nathaniel. Philosopher. A man I would trust my life with.
James Zebedee, with whom one should never start an argument unless one had an entire evening free.
Matthew, the publican, or tax-gatherer. A much-despised profession, even among our company. A truly honorable man, without a breath of deceit in his body. He oversaw our finances.
Simon Zealotes inspired the men when their spirits were low; he always saw the good in men; always saw the larger picture.
Phillip, the scientist, always wanting answers, always asking questions, never satisfied. The best student any teacher could ask for.
“Doubting” Thomas, also always asking questions, but his were of a decidedly cynical nature, complete with answers he had already decided upon, based on long past experience. Perhaps the truer student.
James and Judas Alpheus, identical twins, loving brothers, gentle souls, sweet-natured companions, strong of body, simple of mind, pure of heart.
And the eleventh was my beloved spiritual sister, Mary Magdalene.
And what of Judas Iscariot? He was, in effect, the thirteenth chosen, for he was to hold a special place among us, a place energetically outside of the others for reasons you believe you already know.
Although now despised by many, of all the apostles Judas was the most representative of the illness which most afflicts humanity to this day: lack of self-worth. And out of this lack is cynicism born, is judgment bred, is anger grown, is violence and self-destruction delivered.
Why would I allow such a “loose canon” as Judas into the company? Because all were welcome among us. None were perfect. All were flawed. All were worthy.
It is also wise to not expect the greatest teachers to show up in robes of white trailing flowers in their wake. Often one’s greatest teacher is there to reveal to one their darkest shadows.
Mary Magdalen of Bethany. Sister of Lazarus and Martha.
When I first met Mary in Lazarus’ house — I could see the fire in her eyes. While Martha tended the responsibilities of a host, Mary sat beside me and intently listened to my words. She asked direct questions. She was a born teacher.
A powerful relationship born lifetimes before was once again awakened and renewed. Our spirits had transcended space and time to once again come together in a common work toward a common purpose.
How it gladdens me that Mary is finally receiving her due for the invaluable part she played in my mission. How it has saddened me all these years that some have thought her a prostitute. I did not ‘cast out of Mary seven devils.’ I healed her of a common illness. At that time illnesses were often referred to as devils. Mary was my right hand. She was as much an apostle as any of my company. She did not sit at my feet but stood at my side.
And now to THE QUESTION: Did Mary and I wed? Yes, of course. It would have been much more unusual for a man at that age in the Jewish faith to be unmarried. As always, part of my mission was to be as much like those around me as possible, so that I could better spread my message.
I will say that I did not want to create a lineage of sons and daughters who might become a “royal bloodline,” gathering power with consecutive generations. Remember always, my primary mission was to remind you of your divinity, not have you bow down before mine, or that of future children of mine. No good comes of it.
But there are relationships that transcend the need for a structure, or an expectation. There are bonds of love and admiration and respect between a man and woman that for all intents and purposes are more than a marriage. A union of spirit. Of soul. Of heart and mind. This we had. Why do you need to know more? Isn’t that enough?
Mary was a powerful teacher of my message. She was an unflinching protector of my mission. It was to the breaking heart of Mary that I cast my last sight from the cross. And it was to the pure heart of Mary alone that I first shown myself after my resurrection.
The wedding at Cana.
The daughter of a prominent family was getting married and myself, members of my family, and my apostles were all invited. By now, word had gotten out of my teaching and rumors of miracles which, up to that point, had not yet occurred.
Regrettably, many more than were invited showed up to see me rather than celebrate the wedding. There came a point when my mother found out that the hosts were running out of wine. Mary, by now convinced of my powers, came to me to solve the problem. I was also subject to stresses and many had been placed upon me that day, and out of deep sympathy, silently wished the problem solved.
And it was.
Water was turned to wine. A loving, compassionate thought had only to enter my heart — And it would be made manifest.
I had not intended to use my powers — Which would set me apart from those I was trying to reach. But it had happened. It was done.
But how do “miracles” take place? No natural laws are violated. Everything already exists in the Mind of God. There is nothing outside of the Creator. The physical uiverse is not unlike your holograms. Each piece of the hologram possesses the entire picture. All information exists. All that happens in the production of “miracles” is a ‘calling forth’ of what already exists from the hologram. Water does not become wine. Wine is ‘called forth’ and, in effect, ‘replaces’ water.
In the rather theatrical case of walking on water, one can simply use your energy body to be at different locations at the same time. Science fiction again? I tell you, friends, you do exactly that every night when you sleep. Just as a thought — a picture — a world — can instantly come into your mind, so it is in the higher realms where matter is much less dense. What you think instantly manifests. It’s one of the reasons this school called Earth is so removed from the other inhabited parts of the physical universe: You still have yet to learn how to control your thoughts. Out there, they would create enormous havoc. Be grateful that your world is so dense that every dark thought you think doesn’t come to life.
But I must stress that there are creations you are able to manifest within the material illusion, but true miracles are of God alone and the Divine Intimediary of the Holy Spirit. For these true miracles are not designed nor granted to continue ones attraction to the material world, but draw one away from that world to their true home in Spirit, reunited with The Source Of All That Is.
My first public address came in a temple in Capernaum, the room filled to overflowing after news of the events at the wedding. As I looked out on their curious and expectant faces, I knew they were waiting for me to proclaim my leadership of a new political/ military revolt against Rome.
“Brothers and sisters, I have come to proclaim the kingdom of God. This kingdom embraces all, Jew and gentile, rich and poor, freeman and slave, for the Father of us all is no respecter of persons. How does one gain entrance to this kingdom? Not by the sword or by the edict of kings. This kingdom of heaven is here, now, awaiting merely your desire to enter. Merely express your faith, your love for yourself and your brother, and for God.”
They looked at me, bewildered. What had I just said? ‘What did he mean? The kingdom of God is here and now? I don’t see it. Just love and you are there? I have loved my children and my wife and my country and I am still in chains. Change doesn’t come from the open hand but the closed fist.’
I expected no less. I was offering a way of thinking and living that had never been experienced before. It would take time, perhaps more than I would have. But one can only lay seeds. One can only trust in that eagle high over the forest.
What is faith, exactly? It is not just an idea, it is also an energy with its own magnetic pull. “Act as if ye have faith and faith will be given to you.” It is a truth. Faith is the same as the act of giving in order to receive. Believe in something, no matter how unbelievable it seems, and you have drawn it closer to you. Believe you have faith and you will have faith. Faith is an act of surrender to a higher knowledge.
It was after this public address that I sent the apostles out on their first mission by themselves. I warned them not to preach but only offer guidance. I told them we were not against anyone, including Rome, but for everyone — And we ourselves were not a part of any political movement. Speak from their hearts, I offered, and they would speak well. And then I also asked of them an act of faith:
“When you leave, take only the clothes on your back. Take no food, no water, no money. Trust in a loving Guidance that understands you live in a material world and must have food, clothing and shelter. Trust that it will be given to you, just as it is given to the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.”
Having the faith of a mustard seed doesn’t mean having a small faith, it means having an absolute faith, the faith the acorn has that it will become the oak, even though it doesn’t seem possible. It is the faith to let the river carry you and not swim against the current.
But even the Source will not interfere with free will. Just as in life, it helps to make your desires known. I promise, we will be taken care of, but that protection may not show up in the way the ego would like. We may receive a yacht to weather the storm. We may receive a sturdy row boat. And a row boat to a drowning person seems very much like the Queen Mary. Both will get us safely to our destination. The value judgment is ours.
Before I sent the apostles on this first mission, I called them together and gave them my blessing:
“Blessed are those who are poor in worldly things for the abundance of the Kingdom is theirs.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they are one with God.
Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted.
Blessed are those who weep, they will rejoice.
Blessed are the merciful, they will receive grace.
Blessed are the peacemakers, they will be called the children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for their righteousness, theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Don’t fight fire with fire. Do not take an eye for an eye. If your neighbor strikes you on one cheek, offer your neighbor the other. Receive injustice rather than be its source. Be kind and merciful to all those who are in distress and want. Love your enemies. Judge not lest you be judged. Yet I also warn you to listen for false prophets who will come to you in sheep’s clothing, hiding wolves within. By their fruits you shall know them. You are the children of God.”
It was also at this time that I learned of John the Baptist’s imprisonment. It pained me to know that it was not part of my mission to help him, but to honor the part he played in the Divine Plan.
The Samaritan and the well.
She was a Samaritan, who, as a people were much despised. I simply asked her for a drink of water. She could not believe that I would ask such a thing of her. As in India, she would have been considered an “untouchable.” I won’t go into the history of why this was so, because it’s all water from the same well. Prejudice and racism, like all other forms of attack, are born of fear.
People fear their inner worth, they fear their safety in a seemingly hostile world. But they can’t live in that state of fear for long. So they find a source outside of themselves for that fear: ‘It is that other person’s fault, because they look so different from me, and speak differently and behave differently. I will be safe, back in control, when they are gone.’
Of course, those being attacked also have these same fears and find someone else to project their fears onto.
And on and on it goes.
Sisters and brothers, I tell you that no world-embracing love is possible until it is awakened fully within ourselves. Until we remember that we are beloved of the Source, that we have done no wrong, that we have not fallen from Grace. That we are not alone.
Certainly, take responsibility for errors and make amends. But then continue on in love for ourselves and for those who walk their own paths to the same destination. No matter what color the skin, no matter what the history, no matter what the belief or sexual orientation, each and every one of our hearts searches for the same things.
Breathe deeply, exhale fully. Center yourself. Close your eyes and take a moment to imagine someone you know, someone you don’t particularly like or have had difficulties with. It doesn’t have to be someone with whom you’ve had painful experiences. It could be someone you don’t know, perhaps a homeless person you’ve seen, or a gardener, or a plumber. Take another moment and think about their lives. Wonder what their house — or lack of house — looks like. What does it feel like to wear their clothes? What does the world look like to them? What does it feel like when they have an overdue bill, or a sick child, or a tyrannical boss? Do they feel their life has been a success, or a failure? Is their heart full, or broken? Whoever it is, if you can, send them love. Take a moment, then open your eyes.
In January of that year, I received the news that John the Baptist had been executed by order of Herod.
I wept for a dear friend who sacrificed all for something greater than himself.
One morning as I relaxed into my early morning walk by myself to clear my thoughts, an old woman came up to me, covered from head to toe in filthy rags. A leper, having sneaked out of her small community, probably hidden within a deep valley or dark cave. She held out her rag-covered hand to me and said that she had heard of me and that she had been walking for several days. I could see she was in great pain, but she said nothing of it. She held out a family heirloom, a small bracelet, and asked me if I would touch it, that she might take it back to her daughter who was also afflicted, that her daughter might be restored to her youth and beauty and that she might marry and have children. She said that she did not ask for a healing for herself because she had already lived a long life and had many beautiful memories to think back on. And she trusted that in the kingdom of heaven she would not be turned away from in revulsion.
My Creator, grant me that I may always possess the dignity, the grace, and the humility of that woman. That I might share in her strength and compassion. That I might one day be equal to her divinity.
I reached for her hands and she pulled away. I gently folded the bracelet into her palm and held it. She began to cry, perhaps having forgotten the last time she had been held without judgment and fear. The Love Of God flowed into her, awakening that love within her that had been shuttered from a lifetime of hardship. And the sores left her, the lesions vanished, the destroyed flesh was restored. Life and youth and vitality flamed once again into her eyes and lips and heart. I gently pulled the wrap from her face and beheld the countenance of the Mother and the Father in full glory. “Return home, my beautiful sister, and find your daughter has also been graced by the love of God, and healed.” She sank to her knees in gratitude and tears. I kneeled and held her. And we both wept.
Regarding physical healing.
Surrounding each of you is a duplicate energy body. It is this energy body which creates the physical body within it. Within this energy body is a blueprint of perfect health. This same blueprint exists within every strand of DNA in your physical body. All disease, that is, “dis-ease,” begins first as an energetic state which is eventually translated into the body. This process can happen over one lifetime or over many lifetimes. The energy of joy and love and interconnectedness produce health. The energy of stress and fear and anger and hate and disconnect produce illness. Disease can manifest at the cellular level. It can manifest at the body level. It can also manifest at the level of a family, or a community, or a nation, or a planet.
Diseases in children and babies are indeed painful to comprehend, especially for the parents. I offer to you that often these beloved children are among us to teach us of a deeper love and a deeper sacrifice and a deeper compassion. In their frail states, they are healers as powerful as myself. As powerful as you. Honor them. Love them.
Love yourselves and each other and disease will be but a distant memory on this planet. But please, my dear ones, do not feel guilt over your illnesses or shame that somehow you are not a loving enough person to be healthy. It may well be that your physical challenges are healing you in ways you can not imagine as well as healing those around you. And healing is not the same as feeling better. Be gentle with yourselves. You are, each of you, perfect, divine beings, experiencing a seemingly less-than-divine world filled with a multitude of physical and emotional challenges.
Remember above all else, you are not a body, you are Spirit and Spirit can not be harmed.
You are, each of you, honored greatly for your struggles, for in your healing, your brothers and sisters are healed, and so is the world and the universe around it. You know not how powerful you are.
And I am honored to be among you.
I knew it was not my mission to physically heal everyone who came to me. It was not my place to take away their own individual power. My mission was to remind them of how powerful they were, and thus restore their spirit.
By now word was spreading fast of my “miracles” and my teachings. The crowds following me were becoming larger and larger. And I was beginning to draw the attention of those in power within the region, within Rome, and within the local religious governing bodies.
I’m not going to go into who started what, or who wanted me gone, or who worked on whose behalf. There’s been quite enough bloodshed regarding these questions. My fate was never in the hands of men or governments. I chose my own fate, just as you choose yours by the actions you take on a daily basis. I knew exactly what would happen if I continued on my path. And it made no difference who was in power. I upset the status quo. Sooner or later I would have become an enemy of the state. It was inevitable. The only real question was when?
Among the crowds who came to hear me speak were the genuine seekers, the merely curious, and the rabble-rousers. As I spoke, they would interrupt wondering out loud why, if I could make so-called miracles, my family in Nazareth still struggled financially. And why did I not simply make the Romans disappear? And that I didn’t look any different than the dozens of others who roamed the countryside proclaiming they heard the Word of God. Frankly, who was I to speak for God? And: “Nothing good can come from Nazareth.”
There was no answer I could give them. There are those who are ready and there are those who are still deep within the experience of illusion.
None is better than another.
All are on their path.
All will reach the same destination eventually.
But the criticism of the priests when I spoke at the temple, was of a very different nature. It was their intent to get me to hand over to them evidence of my blasphemy against God.
The religion of the time was one of strict adherence to very ridged codes of conduct, codes which dictated how and when one should eat, how and when one should clean themselves, how and when one should conduct themselves in matters of faith.
I did not adhere to the strict codes of the time — if they distanced me from my message and my followers. If you want to lead people you must follow them first to where they live. You must see the world from their eyes. You must walk in their shoes. And one must always, first and foremost, teach by example.
Friends. The Creator doesn’t care in the least how you conduct your spiritual life. If rules help you to find love, then follow those rules. But if freedom from rules helps you find God, then cast them to the wind. Am I arguing for lawlessness? Yes, if you can live with one another, respecting each other’s lives. If you can love each other as you love yourselves. If that is the case, then laws are not necessary. But as we can all readily see, that is not yet the case. But as to laws and rules of conduct to move you closer to the Source? No. God is within you. How much closer can you get? Rituals and ceremonies remind you there is a path. But they are not the Path.
You are the only priest, the only church, the only bible you’ll ever need.
And so, yes, according to the rules of the time, I was engaged in acts of blasphemy. So be it. Ultimately it didn’t matter; they would have found, or manufactured, whatever evidence they needed to destroy me.
However, I will address one of the charges leveled against me. One of the Pharisees accused me of working with Satan.
The devil. Hell. Brimstone.
Let me offer to you the ancient Hebrew meaning of Satan. It didn’t mean the devil, but the illusion of matter, the illusion of the material world and its seduction away from the spiritual world.
My beloveds. There is no devil but that which we create. There is no hell but that which we choose to inhabit. There never was. There is no purgatory where worthy souls are separated from the unworthy. If All That Is is Love, then that is All It Can Be. God does not punish. God knows what you have forgotten: that your are God’s Holy Child, innocent and pure and perfect. Punishment, hell, vengeance, these are human creations to keep others subjugated. “An eye for an eye.” A human concept of justice.
I offer a simple yet profound analogy: You all know of people from history — and even from your daily newspapers and newscasts — who demonstrate extraordinary acts of forgiveness and compassion. Parents who forgave the man who raped and murdered their beloved daughter. Soldiers who save the lives of their torturers. Adult children who forgive their parents for the most brutal of physical and emotional abuse. If these children of a vengeful God can be this loving and compassionate, then they must be more powerful than this God. But does that seem likely? Or is it more likely that these people are simply expressing the true nature of the Source? I say again: You live in a loving Universe beyond space and time. You are children of a loving God who holds nothing — no matter how painful — against you.
Does this mean that those you consider ‘evil’ are in heaven? Yes, it does. It does not, however, mean that those you consider ‘evil’ do not come to learn of the pain and suffering they have caused. But it is not the fires of hell they experience, but the cries of the devastated. They feel the wrench of their souls. They see the ramifications of their actions. They come to know the other choices they could have made.
And keep in mind the possibility that those you consider ‘evil’ are not born that way. That they may grow to become so, and that they may do so with the help of many, many others along the road. Even those who look the other way, are complicit in the crime.
And these revelations come about through loving guidance on the other side of the veil — Not through forced retribution. For this Divine Guidance knows that whatever acts were committed were committed by those deeply asleep within a vast dream of their own making. And just as you awaken from a nightmare filled the darkest actions, you awaken to the grateful realization that it was all only a dream.
So it is within this dream you call life.
Which is not an excuse for harmful behavior, for all attack on another is attack on the self. There is only one of us, an extension of The Divine Creator.
I promise you that in your long journeys on this planet, you have all been killers and you have all been the murdered. You have all been saints and you have all been…less than saints. You have all been masters and you have all been slaves.
There is no better healer for the slaver than the slave. No better teacher for the abused and the lost than one who has also been abused and lost.
Truly there is no such thing as what you call evil. Instead it is the experience of the sum total of the deepest hurt, the most painful rejection, the saddest abandonment. It is the outgrowth of a wound left unhealed. It is the cry for help unheeded and left alone.
But at the highest level, beyond space and form, energy and perception — your True Home — no, there is no such thing as evil, or pain, or suffering or punishment. There is only absolute and unconditional love.
But this Home you have forgotten.
My companions, I can stand here and describe depths of brutality that our brothers and sisters have visited upon our human family that would seemingly defy human comprehension, that would break our collective hearts. Some would say it is that person’s, or that country’s, or that race’s karma to undergo the nightmare they find themselves within. But karma only exists because, at some point, fear was chosen over love. It may well be one person’s karma to experience poverty. It may also be our karma to feed, house and clothe them.
The experience known as karma is a tool to assist healing, not a refuge from ethical choices.
To whom much is given, much is expected.
When in doubt, always, always err on the side of love.
It was at this time that Simon Peter asked me: “How many times should I forgive a man who continues to wrong me?” And my answer was: “Not seven times, or even seventy times, but seventy times seven.”
Why forgive someone who has slighted you or brutally wronged you? Because it will assure your emotional healing. The person who wronged you has just brought into play the law of cause and effect and will, eventually, experience the lesson of his or her transgression. But forgiveness is hard to do, and everyone must have the time they need in order to work through their experience. Grieving can not be rushed. Honor the process. But when you are ready, consider forgiving the offender. We don’t even have to meet with them in person. As we are all joined together energetically within the universal ‘hologram,’ just send out the thought from our heart to the one who has harmed us, and it is ‘registered,’ instantly, if you will, in the Mind of God. And the “negative” energy link between ourselves and the person who has transgressed is severed — instantly and forever. But remain in a place of hate and anger and vengeance and that energy link remains bound to you, and your very life force is drained away.
You may have asked: “But how do we release ourselves from this illusion and return to our true home?”
Fear, guilt, anger, shame hold this universe of illusions together; the energy olf separation and attack is its glue.
Forgiveness miraculously dissolves everything that is not True.
Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Forgiveness.
First and always of the self, then of those outward projections of the self: everything that is seen as being outside of the self, every symbol of separation must be forgiven and released to the Holy Spirit, from the clothes one wears, to the homes ones builds, to the world one sees, the the mistaken ideas one believes in. All that is considered ‘reality’ is but a symbol of the mistaken belief in a separation from God THAT NEVER HAPPENED. All that is seen and felt with the human senses is but a dream within a dream.
But before you can forgive another, please forgive yourself. What does forgiveness mean? Simply to give forward. What do we give? The only thing we truly possess, as everything else is an illusion: Love. Give love forward. Forgive ourselves for not being as strong as we’d like, or as spiritual or as loving or as truthful. Let it all go, my dear ones. Guilt and shame serve only the ego. Love binds the universe together. It can handle our missteps.
Close your eyes and relax. Breathe deeply. Center yourself in your body. Now connect with your heart. Connect with feelings of love, things that you love, people that you love, foods, clothes, colors, sounds, music. Now bring into your thoughts someone who you feel has wronged you or hurt you — nothing severe or painful, just an everyday slight. It can be someone recently or in the past. Again, don’t feel you have to go somewhere that is too painful or difficult. Now that you have them in mind, imagine in your hand is a beautiful white dove which is the very essence of love and healing and peace and forgiveness. Your heart fills just by having this beautiful dove in your hand. Now release it into the air and send as a gift it to the person who has wronged you and watch as it lands in their open palm. Watch the dove nestle into their hand. Leave it with them as you gently come back to your body and the room. Breathe. Open your eyes.
Forgiveness is a very selfish act.
It is also an absolute requirement.
And so it was that a meeting was held between Herod Antipas and members of the Sanhedrin. They urged my arrest, but Herod, never the risk-taker, refused. Members of his own government followed my message and assured him that every time I had been called the Messiah and had been urged to speak against the rulers, I had reasserted that that was not who I was and that that was not my mission. Herod regarded me as yet one more religious fanatic. But word of me had also reached Rome. And Herod was directed to reconsider his decision. He did. Arrest warrants were issued.
There was always the chance that events could have played out differently than they did. Not I, and not the great ones beyond me, can predict absolutely what will happen in the future. Yes, in the Mind of God all things are known, all outcomes already realized. Yet there are an infinite number of variations and ‘colors’ to an event. Every living being in the material universe of universes has a hand in the evolution of the All. Each choice effects the others in ways unimaginable to you. So a prophesy is only true the moment it is uttered. However, there are patterns of behavior that are known, just as we know if we continue to play with matches there is a very good chance we will burn yourself. So general understandings of the future are certainly possible and often accurate.
So it was, that at a certain point, I knew where my actions would take me. And that my message may only have the impact desired by the release of my physical body. So be it. I knew as you all should know: there is no death, only transition.
And so it was that, despite the appeals of those close to me, I would continue my teachings, taking them into the very heart of the powers aligning against me. And so it was that I began my last journey to Jerusalem.
She was a woman married to a man from Nazareth. I knew him. He had not yet himself, shall we say, arrived at his highest potential. He was among members of the Sanhendrin and they were dragging this woman behind them to be stoned for adultery. The usual crowd which enjoyed such spectacles had gathered. What a sad scene, the pathetic end result of judgment heaped upon judgment, criticism upon criticism, fear upon fear. As I said, I knew the man. He was in no position to judge anyone, least of all the woman who had so struggled to live with him at the expense of her own happiness. I interceded on her behalf: “Who among you is truly righteous and pure of heart? Who among you will stand before the Father and not turn away. Let that one cast the first stone.” Perhaps the other men, in a sudden moment of reflection, decided that they too, had inner work yet to do as each, in turn, left, stones dropped in their haste.
I lifted the battered, emotionally wounded woman to her feet: “Not even God in Heaven judges us. He merely offers to us other choices. Go now, my sister. Live your life to its highest.”
Judge not least you be judged. That often quoted line simply means that there will come a time when we will be allowed the great gift of reviewing our entire life. And we will witness the judgments we have made of others, and we will see the unblemished truth of our own choices in life. Think of it as an artist reviewing a just-finished painting, or the watching of homes movies from your childhoods. There is a compassionate distance and gentle wisdom with which we view our past lives. We realize the importance of even our seemingly darkest missteps. It is not a trial. There are no verdicts.
Like energy attracts like energy. What we dislike and criticize and judge harshly in another is exactly and absolutely that which we dislike and have yet to face in ourselves. We are all like magnets drawn to each other in life to mirror one another: All our relationships expose those potentials we have yet to fulfill; those weaknesses we have yet to address.
Does this mean we can criticize nothing in life? There is a difference between judgment and discernment. We can discern something as not appropriate for us, without judging it as good or bad. Because, my brothers and sisters, we simply do not have enough information to judge another’s choices as good or bad. I could list all day long events which were first judged as “bad,” yet in retrospect were found to have created a much higher good. This does not mean we should just walk away from someone we know to be causing great harm. Discernment is not the same as indifference. As we are all one-in-the-same, stopping one person from harming another is, quite truly, an act of self-love.
Let’s also briefly address another saying I am to have uttered — I dispute that I actually said it, but the saying nonetheless serves an important purpose — which lies in the realm of judgment as well, and that is regarding the chances of a rich person getting into heaven and a camel getting through the eye of a needle.
It doesn’t matter if we’re rich or not. It’s what we do with our life — our money, our talents, our possessions, our gifts, our thoughts, our time — that determines who we are. The Source has nothing against wealth. The universe is infinite. It knows no limits. Our living abundantly doesn’t take away from another. Which is also not to say that possessing material wealth has anything in and of itself to do with spirituality. Having a nice life — and sharing it with others — is an act of self-love and self-love is God-love. But the key is in the sharing. My fellow travellers, giving and receiving are exactly the same energy.
To receive in life, give. This is the law.
Besides, dear friends, we don’t own anything, it’s only on loan to us.
And what is the purpose of this ‘loan’? Only one: to awaken us. God did not create the Law Of Attraction to bring more materialism into one’s life, but to bring to one the spiritual choices for Awakening. To bring us Home where we belong, and from which we have never left.
When I spoke of the kingdom of God being within you, I meant that literally. So it is when I speak of heaven. It is within you. Does it exist as a physical place as well? In ways that can be understood, yes.
But you still access it through your heart. Heaven, as a place, exists on a high vibrational, interdimensional plane. It is, literally, as I speak, all around us and within us. But one’s energy body’s vibration must match the vibration of that dimension. It’s why there are no walls or fences in heaven. After you leave the body, you go, like a magnet, to where your vibration leads you. So the world you inhabit comfortably now, may not be unlike the world you will journey to.
Once you die, you do not suddenly become enlightened; you begin there where you left off here. If there’s still work to be done, you’ll continue. You’ll retain the core personality and emotional and mental life you left with. Will it be more pleasant? Yes. You have no physical needs. You stay at whatever age you’d like. Everything you wish for is manifested — according to your vibrational rate. One raises one’s vibrational rate by loving oneself and others. By being non-judgmental. By being compassionate. You already know that when you’re experiencing love and joy that you feel lighter. That’s because you are, quite literally, lighter.
But always the pull of the material returns and one is drawn back into reincarnation, because even within in this place you think of as heaven, there is still separation, personality, time, energy and space. None of which exist in the True Heaven which we were all born into: the enternal, the infinite, the formless. Pure Thought. Pure Love.
And you will one day learn the greatest truth of all: all that is of energy, form, time, space and perception in all the universes of universes, is still a dream within a dream.
Many are now awakening WITHIN the dream. All must eventually awaken FROM the dream.
For The Creator waits for you beyond space and time, energy and form and the thought of separation, for The Creator knows none of these things. The Creator is only love. And True Heaven is reunion. It is Your True Home that your are destined for, regardless of how long you search the realms of belief and existence.
You can not fail in this quest. And that I also take great comfort in.
But why dream in the first place? How did we come to find ourselves in this place of illusions?
Because, beloved ones, True Children Of God, True Co-Creators with The One That Is All, you who possess the powers of God, in one indivisible moment within the Infinite and Eternal, there appeared for the first time a simple and quite insane thought that separation from the Oneness might be possible.
And it was made so for God would never deny His Children the power of creation, which God shares with them.
And time was born. And space. And individual consciousness. And the mistaken belief in separation.
And the Dreamer fell into the dream and slept, yet still safe within the bosom of God.
And universe upon universe was born. And the illusions of pain and suffering and death were experienced for the first time.
And the Dreamer felt ashamed and full of guilt that the Dreamer had abandoned God.
And then was born the mad idea that God could be angry and would punish the Dreamer.
And the Dreamer fell deeper into sleep and created a vengeful god and began the long journey into forgetfulness, forever seeking punishment for a guilt that never was.
For this is the story of the Prodigal Son: That one son stayed behind and served the father well, while the other went off on a mad journey spending all his wealth on false idols, to eventually return to the love and safety of home. Expecting, as did the brother that remained, that the father would punish the son for the son’s transgressions. But instead, tears of joy pouring from the father’s eyes, the father rushed to embrace the returned son and gave the son the father’s enternal blessing and love.
For God can only love God’s creations, infinitely and eternally.
For God knows that the Dreamer has merely been asleep and has now awakened.
I knew Lazarus as a young man. His sisters, Martha and Mary sent word to me in Philadelphia that he was dying. They believed that I would save him. I would not.
Lazarus knew my teachings. And although he did not remember it at the time, he had agreed before he incarnated to assist me in a matter of importance. No one has the power over another’s God given free will. Not even I. Everyone I cured had agreed to it as part of my mission. I could perform no healing without the prior consent of those involved. My purpose was not to save Lazarus from illness, as I had done with others, but to make a larger demonstration concerning the very nature of death, which caused — and causes — so much fear and pain in the world: that death is not real.
And so Lazarus succumbed. And I left for Bethany. When I arrived Lazarus had been entombed three days. I came upon both Mary and Martha, weeping. I tried to console them. Then they followed me to the tomb and I asked that the stone be moved from the opening. Understandably, those gathered were shocked and disturbed by my request. I asked them to have faith in the workings of the Father through me. Reluctantly, the tomb was opened, the smell of corrupting death filling the air. I went inward in prayer, thanking God in advance for the resurrection which would take place. Then, infused with divine power, I spoke the Word and the Word was made manifest: “Lazarus. Come Forth!”
Prayer is divine intent set in motion through vibration, either through thought or the spoken word. Both are powerful in their own way. I will now offer to you the ‘secret’ to prayer: Do not ask for anything. Ever. Give thanks that your request has already been answered. The manifesting power of prayer happens only in the Holy Instant, the Now. If you pray for something in the future, it will happen in the future. And asking for something now, is still operating from a place of powerlessness, from a place of acknowledged lack. To ask for something means you don’t have it. And I tell you brothers and sisters, you are God also.
You possess everything you need to manifest your prayers in your life.
And the amplifier, if you will, of prayer is in the faith, the absolute trust that your prayer has already been answered. In a universe where the past and future exist simultaneously, there already exists a future you who has already manifested all your heart’s desires. All you are doing is calling forth what already exists into your present reality. Pray, not from the mind, and never from the ego, but always from the heart.
Feel your prayer. Smell it, taste it, touch it, hear it — make it real. And finally, once you have given thanks for your prayer’s manifestation, and made it real, then release it without attachment, back to the universe to handle the details. Give your prayer to the eagle high above the forest. And always pray from a place of gratitude and humility because our prayers will effect others. Give thanks that our prayer is answered for the highest good of all. We then draw upon a much deeper reservoir of power.
And with the power of my prayer for Lazarus, the hidden spirits of the Universe worked together, beyond time and space, and reconstituted his body. And the soul of Lazarus, which was waiting on the other side of the veil, stepped back into the physical form. And the man Lazarus, stepped from the cave to the hushed amazement, and heartfelt joy of those gathered.
And I said to them: “Be grateful for the power and love of God that gives the gift of life. For I tell you life is everlasting. Believe me when I tell you that death has only the power over you that you give it. Death is not a creation of the Father, but of mankind.”
And I tell you the same. Death and illness is a creation of the ego and the ego is the creation of fear. Let go of fear and embrace life and death shall truly have no dominion.
As the ruling forces had heard that I was planning to come to Jerusalem despite the arrest warrants, they decided to wait for me. Much to the concern and fear of my spiritual sisters and brothers, I entered the city gates.
A large crowd following me — and still expecting me to proclaim myself as the Messiah, I entered the temple court and began to speak of the love of God. Soon I was asked: “Is it right for us to pay tribute to Caesar, the one who keeps us in bondage?” To which I replied: “Give to Caesar that which is Caesar’s; give to God that which is God’s.” What did I mean by this? Simply, renounce the material world’s hold on you. Align yourself with the Love of the Creator, and all will be given to you, including your freedom from the material world.
But then, on the seventh day — at the end of the day — as it were, let all that go. Turn inward. Away from the material. Nourish and celebrate the spirit. Strengthen your connection to the Divine. For all these things of the world will fade away. And the dreamer will awaken from the dream of separation.
I continued to speak, but was soon overwhelmed by the scene before me. The court had become little more than a rude and loud marketplace where the Jewish coin was exchanged for the temple coin with which pilgrims could then buy the sacrificial lambs. But there were also bird sellers and merchants offering their wares and all forms of human commerce.
Several of my followers, frustrated by the chaotic scene, took it upon themselves to quiet the crowd, which only inflamed already heated passions. They rushed upon the coin sellers and upturned their tables, which in turn encouraged others of my followers to do the same, and before long a scene of near-riot was occurring.
I regret this incident. It has been used since to justify any number of acts of violence. It was not an appropriate response to the situation.
A note on “anger management”: Try not to manage it. Try to disengage from it. It is an energy which feeds — literally — on like-energy. If you don’t feed it, its power dies away, just as if you had unplugged an electrical chord from the wall. However, if you are angry, don’t ignore it or fight it, that only makes it stronger. Acknowledge it honestly. Breathe deeply, find the fear that is always at the root of the anger, bring Light to it, bless it for its teaching, then do your best to release it back into Light.
Violence only creates violence. Does this mean that we should not defend ourselves, or those we love, or the land we call home? I will not say that there are not times when difficult decisions must be made. And as always, there is no judgment. And sometimes violence must be experienced to open oneself, and one’s nation, to other possibilities.
But I will not say that violence is ever an appropriate response to a situation. It may seem to serve the short term end, but it is an energy that has been released and must be brought back into balance, and that balancing may come in a generation or later, but it will come.
And I also promise that if we look back at the history on this planet objectively, we will find that violence was never the last choice. Violence in our world was, and still is, highly profitable. Violence has been made acceptable. It has been turned into entertainment. And no, I am not advocating censorship, merely reflection. And I am not chastising, just stating the obvious. It is a choice.
The war and hate and injustice and anger we witness on the planet is very simply the outermost manifestation of the war and hate and injustice still alive within the human heart.
Let me offer an example: Somewhere around the planet a school shooting takes place. We read the paper on the other side of the planet and wonder how such a thing could happen. Like-energy attracts like-energy. Our daily, angry, hateful, hurtful thoughts gather together in an etheric ocean surrounding the globe. Those thoughts magnetize to similar thoughts hundred, perhaps thousands, of miles away, similar thoughts from people all over the world whom you have never met and probably never will. And an invisible storm cloud of anger flows about the planet. And when that cloud passes too-near one person, or many persons, or a nation, in a weakened state of mental, emotional or spiritual consciousness, that cloud is sucked into their energy field and those persons, or nations, may be pushed over the edge and into acts of violence.
Of course, this same example is also true for gathering clouds of light and love and compassion, which result in unexpected acts of kindness and forgiveness and charity.
One of the great truths written on this planet is the Hebrew saying, ‘To save one person is to save the world.’
Heal the heart. Love ourselves, and by that very act, we send out a greater wave of love than we can comprehend which instantaneously reaches everyone and every place on Earth. It even radiates out to the very end of the physical universe. That is how powerful our love is.
And eventually, this universe of illusions, built on separation, will cease to exist, and you will all awaken as if from a vivid dream to your True Home.
That night I spoke with my spiritual sisters and brothers who still struggled with the true meanings of my message and my mission. Most of them also still believed that I was the Messiah and would, at some point, claim my right to the throne of David.
How could I expect them to understand what so few to this day understand: That at a certain point I knew that teaching alone would not be enough. That so-called miracles would not be enough.
That a profound demonstration of the transformational power of Love would be needed. A demonstration that all that is physical is an illusion and death but a mistaken belief.
That night Judas stole away from his brothers and went to the priests of Jerusalem and offered myself up for capture.
Why did Judas do this? As is the case with all who participated in my mission, there was agreement on the other side of the veil to perform the roles each would inhabit on Earth. Judas chose a difficult one. But was his betrayal of me pre-ordained? Nothing is pre-ordained, my sisters and brothers. Free will always shares the stage. But once choices are made, then paths are taken which are often too hard to step back from. And destinies are then reached. But if Judas hadn’t betrayed me, another path would have lead to my death.
Is it possible that my ministry could have continued and flourished and that I could have died comfortably in my bed, an old man? Perhaps even surrounded by wife and child? Yes. In fact, there exists a world in the Mind of God where exactly that path was chosen.
But it soon became clear that path was not to be this path. And so I was to be betrayed.
Judas, the zealot, had become frustrated and eventually disenchanted with my message. He wanted change now. Political change. When I did not proclaim myself the Messiah in Jerusalem, it was too much for him.
The Thursday before Passover, I informed my spiritual brothers — and sister, as Mary was with me as well — that we would have Passover supper that night rather than on Friday, as was the custom. I did not tell them I knew that I would be arrested. The upper room of John Mark’s mother and father was obtained. No lamb was served. The atmosphere was somber, the air heavy. The silence thick. I tried to cheer my companions by recalling all the adventures we had shared, the pain and joy and struggles we had shared, the laughter and song and dance we had shared. This served to lighten their loads considerably.
The wine was served. My cup was raised. “When you drink this cup, drink it in remembrance of me. It flows with the One Spirit that binds us all.” Then the bread was broken. “When you eat this bread, it is the bread of eternal life.”
Afterwards, I filled a basin with water and prepared to wash the feet of my beloveds, all of whom but Mary, were shocked by my intent. I began with the feet of Peter. “We have gone through much together these past three years. And each of you in your own way has tried to be by my right side, has wondered where you are to be positioned within the coming kingdom. Has wondered about the rewards that await you for serving me.
My dear ones, all are equal in the kingdom of God. Each serves the other, joyfully. If you are to continue my teaching, you must release the material world’s hold on you: Honor it but do not let it possess you for it is all a great illusion which will keep you from the greater truths. Be in the world. Not of it. Trust in the One Who Sent Me to care for your needs. Be an example of that faith, which will be much tested in the days ahead. Serve with a full heart and an open hand. And I will be at your side. Always. This I promise.”
I then turned to Judas: “What you must do, do quickly.” A startled Judas stood from the table and ran out, much to the dismay of the others.
All who followed me were good men and women. They each sacrificed — as did their wives and families — for something never before seen or heard. Each possessed wonderful strengths and very human weaknesses. Each, in their own way, believed deeply. They feared for me. They sought to protect me. They loved me. And after my death, they wept for me. At my return, they rejoiced. And afterwards, each went out on their own, offering the teaching to the disbelieving and the hateful, submitting to humiliation and ridicule. But they also reached countless hopeful souls, thirsting for comfort. And they gave it gladly, unselfishly. And more than I care to recount here died brutal deaths at the hands of others.
Yes, they loved me dearly. I loved them profoundly.
Returning to the camp at Gethsemane, my spiritual brothers and sisters were still questioning each other about Judas’ disappearance, and my last words to him. I took John, James, Mary and Peter aside and we went to a place where we often prayed, and I left them to be by myself, and they were soon fast asleep.
To this day I’m still not certain why I brought them with me, except that a sadness was creeping over me and I was feeling alone and needing companionship. Even though my path was clear and my decision final, still I was not looking forward to what lay ahead for me. To be spirit in the flesh is a great gift, and a difficult burden. The richness of life is found in the interplay of the joy and the sorrow and I was not immune to heartache.
And so I went off by myself to ask for guidance. And found myself welling-up with emotion for all that happened and was to come. I felt the burdens of the world upon me, and also my own, personal burdens and questions: Had I been successful? Had enough seeds been planted? Would anyone remember any of what I had tried to do? Would all of it have been in vain? And so I asked of God, “If this is not Your Will, please take this bitter cup from me before I drink. If there is another way to serve, may I know it.”
Two more times I asked as the perfumed, night air whispered past me, as the stars above illuminated the dark, as the warm earth rested beneath me. And the answer settled about me as a comforting cloak. Peace filled my heart and stilled my mind and the final remains of my human ego vanished, replaced by absolute clarity of it all:
The part I played.
The part we all played.
I saw the eons expanding outward before me. I saw the subtle and the fine interconnections, the shadows lighted by the brightest light, the brightest light laced with the dark.
I felt pain becoming joy becoming peace.
I saw struggle becoming balance becoming harmony becoming Oneness.
I saw the perfect imperfect perfection of creation.
And out of death came birth.
Out of dark came Light.
Out of sorrow came Love.
And the Great Awakening occurred.
Judas arrived with a Roman guard. Our eyes met, Judas’ own eyes filled with fear and dismay and regret and anger. I met his eyes with peace as he stepped forward and hesitantly placed a kiss on my cheek, the betrayal complete.
Poor Judas, who had taken on the role of the betrayer, that frightened child within each of us, who, feeling powerless in a world it doesn’t understand and feels betrayed by, lashes out in futility, and in turn, becomes the betrayer of the self.
He went to gather his reward, already the taste of victory souring in his mouth, insisting he did it not for money but for the cause, which he believed in deeply. His moral compass shattered against the rocks of his fears, he stumbled about the darkened streets afterwards, mumbling to himself incoherently, finding himself at a cliff’s edge. Where he hanged himself from a withered tree branch. With his last breath he asked for forgiveness.
Perhaps if Judas had understood that his forgiveness was already assured, perhaps if he fully realized the love within him and the love offered him, he would have chosen a different path.
Judas was my brother.
He still is.
As I started to leave with the guard, Peter raised his sword. I stopped him with my hand. “Peter, those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Do you think that these soldiers have any power over me? Do you not know I could call upon all the Legions of my Father and be freed this instant? This I do of my own accord, freely. Now, Peter, do what you must, freely.” And I left, tears filling Peter’s eyes, Peter, who would also betray me three times before the dawn.
I will not say that it didn’t sadden me that Peter chose to fulfill his destiny by speaking three times that he did not know me. These men were more than my brothers, they were my friends.
But disappointment is just another form of judgment. It was not their purpose to fulfill my expectations. It was their purpose to do the best they could in the times they found themselves. It was their purpose simply to try. And that is all that is expected of any of us.
Because, my dear ones, failure is not only not an option, it is not possible. You will all fulfill your destinies. You will all return home with your Spirit satisfied. You will all be greeted in celebration.
And this is a great, and a wonderful, truth.
At this point, I pray you’ll forgive me, but I choose to not go into any detail as to the events of my various ‘trials’ as I was moved about from place to place, from judgment to judgment. Most of what you already know is factual. It does not serve my purposes now to add salt to already unhealed wounds over my death and those you believe responsible. Again, I say to each and every one of you:
The Jews did not kill me.
The Romans did not kill me.
The shouting crowds in the street did not kill me.
My body was destroyed by power at its most corrupt. By power born of fear. By fear born out of forgetfulness. Forgetfulness that you are not alone. Forgetfulness that you are loved beyond measure.
Forgetfulness that there is no death, that there is only life.
The simple truth is, my friends, I am not now a Jew.
I am not now a Christian.
That is a religion that sprang from the hearts and minds of others. I do not accept labels which separate. I do not accept divisions. I do not accept walls and fences, in whatever form they take.
And my dear, sweet, beloved sisters and brothers, I did not die for what you think of as your ‘sins.’ What you call ‘sins’ are only the illusions that separate you from the Source. They are not real unless you believe in them. I know this truth about you. I know they are not real.
I came here to remind you of this truth.
And yes, I was judged unfairly and beaten unjustifiably by the hands of others —
As you often are by your society —
Your culture, your heritage and yourselves.
And yes, I bled, as you do.
And yes I felt the sting of pain —
Because to be human is to feel pain.
Yes, I carried my cross just as you all carry yours —
Our crosses of guilt and shame and lack of self worth and fear.
And yes, like you, I was helped along the road by strangers who gave me a drink, who helped carry my burden, who wiped my brow.
And like you, I arrived at my dark night of the soul —
Where I was crucified upon the illusions of the material world, crucified alongside others whom I never met in life —
Who lived at its darker edges —
But who, now, were at my side as equals, as brothers, crucified upon their own fears. Each of us thirsting for truth and love and peace and having it not given to us from this world of matter.
Then, like each of us, eventually, turning gradually inward, when the outer world abandons us —
Toward the unexplored regions of our heart where light breaks like the dawn upon the night.
And yes, we die to our fears —
To be eventually taken from our crosses —
And carried on the shoulders of our families and friends and gently lain to rest.
And we rest.
And in our rest we surrender to something greater than ourselves, we let go of all we thought was real. And we wait for the dark.
But it does not come.
Instead, a great Light pierces the clouds —
And we are warmed and we are awakened. And we see —
Not heavens of our own making —
But ourselves as we truly are:
Light upon Light —
Color upon Color —
Love upon Love. We embrace and are embraced. We sing and are sung to.
We look upon the Mind of God and see — not God —
But ourselves reflected —
And we are dazzled by our magnificence.
My earthy mother, Mary; Ruth, Jude and John were there with me. It saddened me that they should bear witness. How painful it is for a mother. A sister. A brother. A friend. I offered them a comforting smile, but consoling their hearts was not possible.
The sky became dark, filled with a fine sand blown in from the desert. And a profound silence arrived.
I am reported to have said from the cross: “Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.” The answer I will offer for your times is this: There was nothing to forgive. Those who judged me and crucified me were not evil. They had forgotten the truth of who they were: the Divine made manifest. Love made manifest. They had forgotten, as you all have at one time or another. God does not forgive, but only loves unconditionally and infinitely. For God to forgive God would have to acknowledge what is not true.
There has been much debate as to whether, on the cross, I said, “Father, why have you forsaken me?” Rather than discuss what else I am to have said (and may truly have said), I choose to accept these words because they serve an important purpose. They point to the fact that even I, just as you all, must at some point feel the depth of aloneness, that dark night of the soul, when every dark thought is recalled and every fear is faced. It is the final graduation each earthly soul must undergo in order to free oneself from the addiction of matter, the illusion of fear. And it must be seemingly faced alone. But of course, one is never truly alone. And soon the night lifts, and the new dawn breaks, and the angels of heaven sing, rejoicing in the return home of another child of All That Is.
Sisters and brothers, friends, it is time to stop living the crucifixion, self-punishment and guilt. It is time to live the resurrection and freedom from fear.
My dear ones, life is a dream.
It is pain woven within pain, it is joy radiant with joy.
It is forgetfulness and missteps and nightmares made real.
It is beauty blessed with grace. It is truth dreaming of love.
And in our awakening, and our return Home, God delights.
So my beloveds, my good friends what I now offer I do so with deepest love and gentlest intent, and not to cause distress, yet for any distress these words may cause, I pray your forgiveness:
Consider taking me down from the cross.
It is also a symbol of torture and death. It is also symbol of what was.
Consider taking me down from the cross in your own hearts.
Turn your back on death and darkness.
Turn to Light and Love and Compassion.
Consider taking yourselves off the cross.
“Father, into your hands I commend myself.”
Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, went to Pilate to receive permission to take my body for burial. It was granted. My body was buried in a tomb hewn of solid rock, belonging to Joseph’s family. On Sunday morning, Mary Magdalene, Martha, Joanna, and Rebecca hid by the tomb with special herbs and oils to anoint my body. To their horror, they found the massive stone rolled away and the burial chamber empty. Mary stepped away from the entrance and walked to one side in grief, when a voice called to her —
She turned to whom she thought was a stranger. But she recognized my voice and my gaze and my smile. And she wept with joy as she kneeled.
“Rise up, Mary. Do not cry. I have arisen as I said I would. As you all shall.” She stood on trembling legs, reaching out to me. “You must not touch me. I have not yet ascended.” My energetic body was in a high vibrational state, to touch it would have been harmful to her.
“Go to my spiritual sisters and brothers and tell them I have risen. Tell them I shall join them shortly.”
Tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks, my beloved Mary ran to tell the others. Of course, my spiritual brothers and sisters did not believe her. But soon I appeared before them each individually and told them that death is not an end but a doorway.
“My brothers and sisters, I am the Door to the limitless light. I am the Bridge over the rushing water. I am the Path though the gathering darkness. I have shown you the way. Now you must become the Door, The Bridge, the Path and show others, so that they, in turn, can light the way for those yet to come.”
And I say to each and every one of you reading this:
You are the effortless Door, the unfailing Bridge, the smooth and steady Path.
Open yourselves wide, let down your barriers, lead the way.
I came all those years ago to help you remember.
So it is.
And so it shall be.
Worlds without end.
It is done.
This is a bridge. The journey of awakening continues, for this story is only the beginning. Open to even greater Truths. Open to Your Truth. Seek and you shall truly find.
And so it is.
We are all, truly, one. And the simple fact is that I exist as a person, and as a writer, because of the countless contributions of others. And so I would like to offer a word of thanks to, acknowledgement of — and also recommend — those authors and books before me that added to anything of value I have received and written here: The books of Paul Ferrini and Elaine Pagels. The books of Alice Bailey. The mystic school of Astara. The Kaballah. The Kyballian by the Yogi Society. “The Impersonal Life” by Joseph Benner. “Mystic Christianity” by Yogi Ramacharaka. “The New Testament”. “Conversations With God” by Neale Donald Walsch. “Darwin’s Black Box” by Michael J. Behe. “The Holographic Universe” by Michael Talbot. “The Aquarian Gospel of Jesus Christ” by Levi. “The Magian Gospel of Brother Yeshua” by Carol Magus. “The Urantia Book”. “The Way of the Essenes” by Anne Meurois-Givaudan. The White Eagle books by Grace Cooke…and many, many others. And a very special thanks to all my friends and guardians and guides and angels on this, and the other side, of the veil.
And not last, but first, Yeshua. Thank you.
and the next journey begins with “A Course In Miracles”.