"Your Laughter"

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

Pablo Neruda

Losing My Life To Find It

Today I see that in spiritual growth I lose my life to find it. This is
just the opposite of establishing my identity in a worldly way, which
lies in surrounding myself with things that I want to represent me. In
this way I define and seek a sense of self through representation. I
know now that I cannot find me in a reflection of myself.

When I do this, my eyes are constantly focused outward, and I forget that it is
through an inner gazing that I come to know who I am and what life is
all about. The sense of loss I may experience when I cease looking for
my true identity in objects outside myself disappears when I look within
for my life and meaning.

I let go of my smaller self to know my larger self.

In my end is my beginning.

T. S. Eliot

age

(photo courtesy mordoc)

age-consciousness is one of the most biologically destructive constructs we can entertain. Call yourself an age and the body responds accordingly. And the body and mind instantly respond to the cultural expectations of what the number is supposed to imply.

The human body is rebuilt from the skeleton up every year (most of the body is rebuilt every seven months). We only retain dis-ease and aging because our consciousness immediately places those new, healthy cells in the same place as the old, unhealthy, aged cells.

Aging is a dis-ease. It is NOT a biological imperative.

What the mind believes, the body follows. Besides, I have lived lifetimes. At the quantum level, I am infinite. I am therefore ageless — so long as I choose to be. The number means nothing.

The only reference point that matters is the spirit and the human heart.

a message

be still dear friends, brothers and sisters, parents and child, enemies and loved-ones, these are the times of grace. what seems complex and confusing and frightening is in fact the most amazing of occurrences. it is the call home. it is the call to return, not to where you came from, but to where you have always believed yourself to truly be. though you have forgotten, though you have been lost, though you have played with fear and despair, those times are dwindling away. this is not a time to look back, or look forward, but to look within and around and revel in what you have all too often passed by in the haste of life. there is no right here and no wrong to what has been done and not yet done, just truth and acceptance and peace within the heart. this is the time of letting go. letting go of the guilt and the shame and the illusion that you are able to control all aspects of your life and the life of the planet. yours are not the only paths being walked on the planet. yours are not the only plans. the great latticework has come together in astounding beauty and form and interconnected all paths and all plans into one river flowing to one ocean. the time of separation is over. the time of limitation is over. the time of borders and fences are over, including those within the human heart. what you see as destruction around you is the process of creation released of its restrictions. it is the freeing-up of eons of stuck and cluttered energy and it is not chaotic. it is not punishment. it is the freeing-up of the waters of consciousness to flow where they are needed. yes there will be changes, that is obvious to all. but they need not be as difficult as you fear; they need not be difficult at all. though few of you remember it, you have been at this stage of creation an infinite number of times before. you have even experienced it when you left the peace and perfection of home and journeyed courageously into rebirth and human form and experienced the pain of pressuring the vastness of all that you are into the smallest, most fragile of forms. time and time again you have each done this. some lifetimes you chose to rest, others you filled with profound challenges. all were extraordinary works of art. this is the time of completing the painting you all began at the beginning of this creation spiral. you have waited anxiously, impatiently for this time; you have, quite literally, waited in line to be here now. do not look to the past to solve the challenges of these times. the only answers for each of you are within, in the stillness of your deepest awareness that you are not small, insignificant vehicles of motion and perception, but instead infinite creators made manifest in flesh in a world of matter, to better understand, contemplate and perfect your creations. wake every day trusting you are safe and shall be guided though others around you may stumble. trust that they are safe as well and always have been. open to the release of all judgment about what you consider “good” and “bad.” this is the time to be those lights in the darkness, cursing the darkness not. one can shout from the roller-coaster from fear, or exhilaration. when you come up against your fears and seeming walls of adversity, step back, take a breath and consider surrendering to the moment. open to what you think of as the miraculous. you are the caterpillar breaking free of the cocoon, the young, trembling bird about to fly for the first time. you think you will fall. you will not. you will be asked to open to faith, and not the blind faith of your religions, but the true faith of your true nature that you have hidden away in order to play this grand game of creation. reclaim your power. create your day and your world as you would have it, first in your heart, then speak it out into the world of form to be made manifest. you have each created this world. now you shall recreate it in joy and love and harmony. greed will be replaced by the grace of generosity and shared hope. isolation and separation will be replaced with union. the dark will pull away from under your feet as you walk with a heart filled with light. there really is nothing to be done, as difficult as that may be to accept. there is only to be present. to be hopeful. to be generous and loving. to bend as the willow does. to flow as the river. the river bringing you home.

doorways

(photo courtesy firehawk77)

one of the great comforting and encouraging truths of the nature of the Universe is that when you open a door, the light floods in; the darkness does not flow out.

glamour

(photo courtesy dev1)

One of the challenges of these coming times for conscious spiritual folks is what was once called “glamour,” which is feeling spiritually superior to others, those not on a conscious path as well as those who are very conscious.

It is easy to feel a bit paternal, or even condescending to those “others,” as the coming times more and more support living consciously: we were/are right and they were/are wrong. Of course, the second we make that judgment, we are wrong — absolutely.

As we tend to surround ourselves with like-minded folks, it’s even easier to separate oneself from the ‘crowd’ and feel empowered by the Universe to tell others how to live (I’ve certainly done it, and may be doing it right now).

But with power and advantage must come humility. To whom much is given, much is expected. We must be careful about repeating the same mistakes of the past under the veneer of “spirituality.”

This is the Age of Aquarius, the Violet Age, when all that is hidden will be revealed. When all separations will be healed. There will be no more secret societies, or hidden agendas, or hierarchies. The new world will be spherical, not vertical.

We will all come to understand that without the ‘unconscious’ help of those who worked-the-dark, we would not now be entering so much light. Everyone is valuable. Has been valuable. The Universe wastes nothing. Everything is perfect and right on schedule.

In the new world we cannot suddenly replace the estranged governments of the past with estranged governments filled with spiritual folks. Fascism is fascism, regardless of ‘high intent.’

We are all one here. We always have been, we’d simply forgotten and let our lower egos run things.

In the coming times, we will have to be extra vigilant of those same egos simply usurping one world for another.

two invocations

(photo courtesy paal)

As we move closer to zero point in the spiritual life of planet Earth, not only are new energies required, but also new prayers and invocations (see “Present Tense Prayers”)

One of the most powerful invocations ever given to the planet is the Great Invocation from the Great White (Light) Brotherhood/Sisterhood. It follows:

The Great Invocation

From the Point Of Light within the Mind of God,
let Light stream forth into the minds of men,
let Light descend on earth.
From the Point Of Love within the Heart of God,
let Love stream forth into the hearts of men,
may Christ return to earth.
From the Center where the Will Of God is known
let Purpose guide the little wills of men,
the Purpose the Masters know and serve.
From the Center which we call the race of men,
let the Plan of Love & Light work out,
may It seal the door where evil dwells.
Let Light and Love and Power restore the Plan on earth.

Amen.

Honoring fully the continued power and grace of this invocation with great humility and gratitude, I also offer a new energetic color for a new age to the invocation.

A New Invocation

I give thanks Father/Mother/God, that from the Point Of Light within Your Mind,
Light is streaming forth into my mind and into the minds of my brothers and sisters,
that Light is descending on earth.
I give thanks Father/Mother/God, that from the Point Of Love within Your Heart,
Love is streaming forth into my heart and into the hearts of my brothers and sisters,
that the Christ has been awakened within,
that the Christ has returned to earth.
I give thanks Father/Mother/God, that from the Center where Your Will is known,
Purpose is guiding my will and the wills of my brothers and sisters,
the Purpose which the Masters know and serve.
I give thanks Father/Mother/God, that from the Center which we call the race of humanity,
Your Plan of Love & Light is working out,
that it has sealed the door where fear dwells.
That Light and Love and Power has restored the Plan on earth.

Amen.

the spiritual challenge of locks

(photo courtesy eric mcgregor)
This entry is directed primarily to all of us who consciously think of ourselves as lightworkers or conscious spiritual beings. And by that I mean — in general terms — we believe the Universe is perfect (though we seldom recognize it), that everything is happening as it should be (though we seldom understand it), that there are no accidents (though we seldom acknowledge it), and that we are safe (though we seldom believe it).

If we believe all of this — to the best of our abilities — then why do we still lock our doors and bolt our windows? I ask this question because we are now at the time when we are being asked to walk our walk and not just talk our talk. We are being asked to lead by example.

And in these ever-increasing fear-based times, how can we be that example if we ourselves still behave as if the Universe is not perfect, that events are not happening perfectly, that there are accidents (though atomic and sub-atomic structure would collapse if there were accidents), and that we are not fundamentally safe.

As we lock our car doors and house windows, what statement are we making to the Universe and to ourselves? That I am not really safe, that there are accidents, and that I have stuff that others can’t have.

Yeshua said once that if someone steals something from you, give it to them, because they obviously need it more than you do.

And besides, all the stuff we ‘own’ is really only on loan to us from the Divine to see how we respond to possessions. Do we hoard, or do we share, or do we trust that everything we REALLY need will be provided to us when we need it.

This is the concept of ‘manna from heaven.’ The Jews in the desert for those forty years received what they needed when they needed it, the gift being they didn’t have to carry their stuff around with them, they didn’t need storage, and they didn’t need locks.

If someone does rob us of our stuff — or even take our lives — do we really believe that burglar, or murderer, was able to interrupt the Divine Plan? Do we really believe that if the Universe wanted an event to happen in our lives that a five dollar door bolt, or five thousand dollar security system is going to stop Divinity from its purpose?

Maybe the purpose is to get rid of some of our stuff, or to reconsider what is really valuable to us, or that we better not put off love until tomorrow because we may not be around tomorrow.

Like energy attracts like energy. So what are we attracting when we lock doors and put up fences and live in gated communities?

What are we saying to the Universe?

What are we saying about the new world we desire to create on Earth?

What are we saying about ourselves?

two by david deida

Desire Invites Your Gifts

Allow desire to draw you into the deepest giving of love possible. When you yearn for your lover, don’t resist the desire, but also don’t attach it to something less than your deepest feeling-truth. No carnal embrace in itself equals eternal love. No anatomical perfection satisfies the emptiness of gifts ungiven. No genital friction adds up to the fire of the heart unbound.

Allow desire to be a doorway through which to give your gifts, rather than a cravenness through which to acquire something. Convert the course of sexual want from contentment to boundlessness. Give from your heart so fully you are as gone as love is wide, all edges vaporized in the flame of sexual combustion. Die into the light of love.

Receive the moment of desire as an urgent invitation to bare your heart. What you really want to get is also what you really want to give. Love. Boundless love. Deep down, you have knowledge of a love without end, a love that always shines. Sex can be the present exposure of this eternal shine of knowing. Desire is a shard of this light. Go through the desire, through love’s invitation, and emerge re-awakened in the same brightness, now recognized, as you began.

Men often fantasize about having a big penis because it gives them the sense of being able to really penetrate a woman, to “give her what she wants.” But the penis is merely a physical sign for consciousness, and you can only offer your woman as much consciousness as you are.

Men conflate “big penis” with “big consciousness.” They secretly want a woman to worship their penis as if they were God. Most men really, deeply, want this. What most men don’t know is that they are divine consciousness, and they can totally ravish their woman with huge consciousness, regardless of the size of their penis. Men intuit their capacity to ravish a woman into total love, bliss, and surrender—they even feel it as a kind of duty—but then they look down at their little wanker and begin to doubt their ability to give her what she needs.

To give your woman “what she needs” means to bring her beyond the merely personal aspects of love and sex through the strength of your consciousness. Most men consider consciousness to be something associated with their head. This is a mistake. Consciousness is another word for love, the open space of existence, the cognizant radiance of being, in which all things shimmer, including your body. And the only way your woman is truly ravished by your consciousness is through your body.

Men Want Emptiness, Women Want Fullness.

Suppose your man criticizes you. Perhaps he points out a way that you have been selfish. In response, you may feel hurt and angry. You’ve done so much for him, given so much of yourself, how dare he call you selfish?

While you identify with your self-image, then you are easily prickled by criticism and coddled by praise. Spiritual growth involves gradually identifying more and more with who you really are, which is love itself. But how can you be the deep love who you are when you feel so closed, contracted, angry, or upset in your body?

The feminine way is not so much about feeling through emotion, sensation, and thought into the openness or space of being. This is the masculine way; since the masculine is at home in emptiness, it is attracted easily into the open space of awareness. But the feminine is at home in love-energy or light, the fullness of life. The feminine doesn’t want to feel through everything into the openness of being. The feminine wants to feel. Everything. Fully. And in doing so, the feminine relaxes as love, which is the openness of being.

(by David Deida/deida.com)

Dissatisfaction Is A Gift

Truth: If you are sensitive, you know you are terrified, lonely, and feeling stressed.

At depth, you are infinite and unbound openness. But you become unhappy in every moment that you assume you are fundamentally a separate individual. First of all, the possibility of death lurks under every moment. From this constant fear of annihilation are born the twin needs to succeed and be loved. Everything you do, every moment of thought and feeling, is based on your fear of death and your stressful need to accomplish success and experience love.

In truth, you are already as good as dead. If you feel this moment with utter attention, you will notice that it is empty. It is gone. And yet also full of boundless livingness. If you feel who you are with absolute awareness, you will find an immense nothing of luminous presence. You and the world are tangible, full of light and aliveness, and also phantasmagorical, vaporous, existing without a trace.

Therefore, as long as you try to hold onto yourself in the midst of this constant change and dissolution, you will grind in the stress of your own self-grasping. You will mull and cogitate, hoping to solve the continually appearing problems in your life. You will feel hurt and angry as others abuse you with their closure and confusion. As long as you think that you can win, the struggle of life and the whims of your loved ones will torture you. Fundamentally, you will feel incomplete and unloved.

The only way beyond this bind of perpetual self-concern is to actually feel who you are and what the world is. At your deepest, who are you? Behind your thoughts and feelings, even in the midst of your dreaming and sleeping, who are you? What exactly is your experience of the world? If you feel this moment with utter precision, unwavering in your attention and without preconception, what is your raw experience?

To persist in this practice is to discover that you cannot win because there is no one to win. There is nothing to conquer.

This will sound like abstract philosophy for as long as you think you can solve your constant yearning for freedom and love by doing something or being with someone. You will actually believe there are people out there and a “you” in here. This sense of division and separation is the root of your suffering, but it seems so real. That you live in a world seems to be an irreducible fact. And so you stop there and try to arrange yourself and the world so your suffering diminishes, but always there is the fear of death, the continual stress of hoping for success and love.

Eventually, you realize that you are still afraid, incomplete, and lonely, regardless of how you have arranged yourself and the world. At this point, you can stop trying to change things and simply feel how things are. Precisely. Nakedly. Without closing to anything.

In any moment that you can feel this fully, you will discover that your constant struggle is grounded in an illusion. The you who you thought you were is only a self-image. The world you thought you lived in is rather spacious. You seemed to be the center of the universe, as if your life drama was oh so important, and now you realize that there is no center to the universe. Your life drama continues, the world and your self-image continue, but everything appears and disappears in a great openness of love, an unbounded beingness that is totally free.

You cannot arrange yourself or the world in order to experience openness, but in any moment you can feel fully as unbound empty-feeling-fullness. This open being is the very love and freedom you seek as a separate struggler in a world of strugglers.

Everything in this world dies, guaranteed. No arrangement lasts. Your fancy car will get scratched, your body will become diseased, your lover will betray you one way or another. Dissatisfaction is healthy. It is evidence of your sensitivity to the truth of what you feel. You are suffering. You have tried all kinds of ways to feel better, but they haven’t worked. You are still stressfully seeking a sense of completion, fullness, success, and love.

The deeper truth is that you exist as unbounded love-fullness, without limit or fear. But the rubber band of presumed separation stresses your heart. At any moment, everything you’ve worked so hard for can break. The rubber band will eventually snap. You will lose everything, including your sense of self. Of this you are terrified, and yet it is certain.

Practice this many times every day: Feel this moment completely. Feel your fear. Also feel deeper than fear. Feel deep and wide. Open with this entire moment precisely as it is, as miserable or blissful as it may be. Stay with it, fully present, and without the effort to change. Instead of struggling, consent to be exactly what you are, whatever that is. Surrender precisely as you and as this moment is. Be. Utterly be.

You will notice that you automatically start thinking about things. You automatically presume yourself to be a separate individual who is trying to do something. Memories of your past or desires for your future arise. You want to do something. In the face of this grinding wheel of thought and desire, feel the entire moment exactly. Be present with precision. Surrender without edge.

Relax your belly. Loosen your mind. Release your heart. Open wide as this moment. Welcome whatever comes when you totally trust. Find out what you do when action blooms from your depths. Intensely alive, deep, open, and spontaneous, allow this moment to be.

Dissatisfaction is the feeling of presumed separation and the consequent struggle to avoid impending annihilation. Welcome dissatisfaction, and practice to feel this moment precisely, unerringly, and without protection. Live true to what you discover, open with what is, offering your love, moment by moment.

(Best-selling author David Deida has been widely acclaimed as a “teacher’s teacher” in the fields of sacred sexuality, women’s spirituality, and the men’s movement. His teaching and writing on a practical, fully sexual spirituality for our time have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to personal and spiritual growth currently available. Known internationally for his transformative workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy, David is a founding member of the Institute of Integral Psychology and has taught and conducted research at the University of California Medical School in San Diego; University of California, Santa Cruz; San Jose State University; Lexington Institute, Boston; and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France.
David Deida. All Rights Reserved )

these times

Dear Friends,

I just wanted to add some thoughts to, what I’m sure, is a growing chorus of thoughts and words coming to each of us about these times we find ourselves in.

My main feeling is that we are hearing a lot about the transitions coming, and our inner guidance is telling us that this is something different than ever before, but not a lot of practical suggestions have been offered about how to move through these times as gracefully as possible.

Asking your patience and forgiveness, I’d like to offer some possibilities that we all might consider.

Open to trusting that everything is perfect and happening just as we’d all planned, even though what we see and hear before us seems chaotic. It is not.

Try to stay away from news reports, which will only increase the fear energy — which is necessary to speed the transition process of those supporting the old energy — but which will not be helpful in bringing in the new energy.

We are in the midst of a birth, which can violent and painful, but which is also — at the same time — joyful and filled with love and perfection. Our collective jobs now are to be mid-wives and assist this birth so that it is as swift and painless and graceful as possible.

Listen to all the lightworker and channeled information that is coming our way, but also listen to our own intuition and ultimately seek its guidance. Listen to our own hearts. This is the time of the Christhood and Eastern Light being awakened in each individual. This is the time when we are being birthed as individual rays of light. This is not the time to give over our power to the old energy, or another’s energy, even when it is filled with light. It is time to be our own light.

It is also time to share that light, and not just through our works, but through our hearts and feelings and intuitions. Whenever we are doing or thinking about anything that brings us feelings of happiness and love and joy and fun, just make a mental note to project those feelings into the world for everyone to share.

If we are playing sports, or a board game, or laughing with a friend, or taking an inspiring walk, or taking a warm shower, or having great sex, or eating our favorite food, take a moment and share those feelings with every soul on the planet, and the Earth itself.

This is no longer the time to point fingers or affix blame or direct anger. Those we would direct our anger at are in fact integral players (though they don’t know this) in the coming transition. Without their exploration of the dark, the light could not now flood in. It is time to surround all those in fear — and those who create that fear — with love. That is our job now. That is our responsibility as lightworkers.

One of the most important energies we can add to the system right now is gratitude. Take a moment before we go to bed, and/or first thing in the morning, to recount all that we are grateful for in our lives, and radiate those feelings into the planet and all humanity.

It is also very important now that we each take the time to envision what we would like the New World to look like, what it would feel like, how we would behave in it. Will we lock our doors there? Or will we share all that we have knowing that everything we need will be provided? Will our homes and hearts and possessions be hoarded and protected, or shared?

We must begin to create the energetic ‘blueprint’ of the New World, fill it with life and then release those feelings and that blueprint back to the Universe to handle the details. The Universe is waiting for us to decide what this New World will look like. It’s time to imagine it and release it.

We should also be open to the miraculous. What we think of as the miraculous is the true nature of the Universe. The Universe is a miracle-making machine. That is what it does. That is all it does. We have cut-off that energy in our three-dimensional world and lives. We mustn’t get stuck in thinking that these current world events will follow the same processes as they have in the past. We must remain open to the miraculous, to the true nature of creation, which can change events — and the world — literally — in the blink of an eye. We must celebrate those energies and those possibilities. Remember that the Berlin Wall and the Soviet Union fell and Eastern Europe was remade in a little over a period of nine months with only a few hundred deaths. A half dozen political prisoners became presidents of their countries in that same amount of time. Miraculous.

We mustn’t think of the past. We must stay present.

If material things, or loved ones, or our health, is taken from us during this time, we must try and be open to the possibility that these events are not attacks, but gifts, freeing us from the most difficult aspects of this transition. We may find ourselves in a hospital room instead of our bedroom when the tornado hits, destroying the house we would have otherwise been asleep in.

We must try to suspend judgment about what we think is bad, and good. We must try and be as neutral as possible.

There is a saying that if you are in the desert and an army of a million soldiers is coming your way, but if you are not in fear, they will walk right past you. Because quite literally, they will not see you, as you are not living in the same vibrational frequency as they are. That is the same for these times. A lot of fear will be expressed in the coming times. We must try to stay centered and grounded. We must try to stay in the calm eye of the hurricane.

Breathe deeply. Connect our energy to the Earth. And to fellow lightworkers.

Many friends and others may leave the planet at this time. I might be one of them. You might be one of them. Those who know the truth of reincarnation know that we have lived and died a hundred, if not a thousand times before. Death is as much a part of creation as life. We must try to release our judgment about it. We must try to bless everything. And everyone.

What are the most powerful tools we have right now to change the world and move through these times gracefully, beautifully and miraculously? A smile. A steady hand. An open heart. A sharing spirit.

The time of the lone wolf is over. The time of global community and global family is arriving. The time of shared possessions and shared time and shared love is upon us. And how cool is that?

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. This is the time we have been waiting for. It only has to be difficult and painful if we open to that possibility. But it can also be graceful and beautiful and miraculous, if we open to that instead.

We are God/Goddess also.

Let’s build that world we’ve dreamed of.

How?

By continuing to dream it. And sharing that dream.

say little
love much
give all
fear not
judge not
aspire to

(photo courtesy cmx82)